I went to a Leadership conference that I have been going to for 10 years now. Each time I go its a time of not only real butt kicking but a time where God has truly spoke things into motion in mine and Jeremy's lives! I have been given a new vision. A burden. A heart that beats fast at the possibilities. You see, I am a youth leader and I think for the past few years I've been leading to be and "adult figure who loves Jesus" to a girl that may need to see that. But I have been given a new vision, where we actually lead because we REALLY BELIEVE we can change a generation for Christ! To really believe there can be a group of kids that rise up and take their place. A generation that does actually passionately live for God! Instead of one that falls away and comes back battered, bruised, and scarred up due to choosing to live life for themselves. It's a new season, one that is going to take determination, sacrifice, and discipline! We are going to have to let all the other names fade away and run OUR race. Not someone else's race but OURS! I'm so excited to see what God is going to do as we bow low before him and lift him high! Hands up, we lift you high Lord! Go and do through us! And we will point it all back to you! Can't wait to brag on you! xoxo
Monday, October 6, 2014
Preparation
I love my God. Like seriously love Him. I love that he cares enough for me to prepare me for what is to come. He does that a lot for me. I read my post from last Wednesday and had no idea what was to come the very next day.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
To the ends of the earth...
"For this is what the Lord has commanded us: 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.' " Acts 13:47
That's the point of all of this, right? To bring salvation to the ends of the earth? Its my point for existence, at least. Its why I do what I do, its why I love like I love, its why I respond the way I respond. Its what motivates me, its what gets me through the tough days.....or does it?
I want those statements to be true, and to a point, I do really believe they are true for me. But sadly I don't wake up everyday thinking about someones salvation. I don't let my motives or my responses be from a place of bringing salvation to someone. I do in the small little corners of my world, but to say it weaves through my whole reason for existence.....I don't breathe, eat, sleep that reality. Its in there, yes, but its not my every motivation.
Death makes you think a lot about things. What you would have done differently, what you didn't do, what you wish you would have done.....There have been a lot of people around me facing death here lately, my Dad included, and its got me thinking, "If that were me, if I were told you have less than a year to live....would I live out Acts 13:47 differently?"
You BET I WOULD!
I have a little life that comes to my house every week, and then goes home to his family, who doesn't know Christ. I have the opportunity to bring salvation...to the ends of the earth....to the ends of my earth. Have I? No. Yes, I've mentioned God and pointed things back to Him, but I've not been on my face before the Lord begging for their salvation. I haven't. I get so caught up in the frustration of the situation and how I think this little boy is not being treated fairly and how I think they are wrong in decisions they are making....and I haven't even stopped to bring salvation to my "ends of the earth."
*Punch in the gut*
If it were me facing death right now, I'd be on my knees before the Lord begging for the people in my life that I know don't know Him. I'd be very intentional about conversations with my high school students. I live life differently.
Death makes you think.
I am a part of a church that supports a group of people, who are raising up kids in the Christian faith, and the goal is for them to go back out and bring salvation to the "ends of the earth" or back to where they came from and spread the gospel. They were in need of a worship center, it would be the first of its kind in the area they are located! The project would take about $20,000 to build and in one weekend we raised $20,026 for this worship center to be built!!! Isn't that amazing!!!
Being a part of "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" in this way is an incredible feeling! I think though, yes its easy to give money to help build this worship center, but "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" has a whole new meaning when you are in the muck and the mud of a situation. When your emotions are raw and you feel pain and hurt....to the ends of the earth, looks different. Feels different. Its harder, its messier. Sometimes I just want to check out and say "All done." I don't WANT to bring salvation to the ends of the earth today.
And then I'm thankful for grace. That He doesn't just leave us where we are, that he brings people, and His Word to sustain and encourage us. Bringing us back into focus, to REMEMBER....."this is what the Lord has commanded us......that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth."
And that IS the point.
That's the point of all of this, right? To bring salvation to the ends of the earth? Its my point for existence, at least. Its why I do what I do, its why I love like I love, its why I respond the way I respond. Its what motivates me, its what gets me through the tough days.....or does it?
I want those statements to be true, and to a point, I do really believe they are true for me. But sadly I don't wake up everyday thinking about someones salvation. I don't let my motives or my responses be from a place of bringing salvation to someone. I do in the small little corners of my world, but to say it weaves through my whole reason for existence.....I don't breathe, eat, sleep that reality. Its in there, yes, but its not my every motivation.
Death makes you think a lot about things. What you would have done differently, what you didn't do, what you wish you would have done.....There have been a lot of people around me facing death here lately, my Dad included, and its got me thinking, "If that were me, if I were told you have less than a year to live....would I live out Acts 13:47 differently?"
You BET I WOULD!
I have a little life that comes to my house every week, and then goes home to his family, who doesn't know Christ. I have the opportunity to bring salvation...to the ends of the earth....to the ends of my earth. Have I? No. Yes, I've mentioned God and pointed things back to Him, but I've not been on my face before the Lord begging for their salvation. I haven't. I get so caught up in the frustration of the situation and how I think this little boy is not being treated fairly and how I think they are wrong in decisions they are making....and I haven't even stopped to bring salvation to my "ends of the earth."
*Punch in the gut*
If it were me facing death right now, I'd be on my knees before the Lord begging for the people in my life that I know don't know Him. I'd be very intentional about conversations with my high school students. I live life differently.
Death makes you think.
I am a part of a church that supports a group of people, who are raising up kids in the Christian faith, and the goal is for them to go back out and bring salvation to the "ends of the earth" or back to where they came from and spread the gospel. They were in need of a worship center, it would be the first of its kind in the area they are located! The project would take about $20,000 to build and in one weekend we raised $20,026 for this worship center to be built!!! Isn't that amazing!!!
Being a part of "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" in this way is an incredible feeling! I think though, yes its easy to give money to help build this worship center, but "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" has a whole new meaning when you are in the muck and the mud of a situation. When your emotions are raw and you feel pain and hurt....to the ends of the earth, looks different. Feels different. Its harder, its messier. Sometimes I just want to check out and say "All done." I don't WANT to bring salvation to the ends of the earth today.
And then I'm thankful for grace. That He doesn't just leave us where we are, that he brings people, and His Word to sustain and encourage us. Bringing us back into focus, to REMEMBER....."this is what the Lord has commanded us......that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth."
And that IS the point.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
A True Story....
Once there was a girl who only had two girls, she spoke girl, she loves everything girl....then a boy came along & shook everything up. One day they were at McDondald and shouting from the top of the playland the boy screamed to this unknowing girl...."my pants fell! My pants fell!!" Well sure enough his pants were still on, so she called for him to come down. To her naive self who only speaks girl she quickly realized as he waddles out of the playland.....he pooped his pants. So she walks him to the bathroom, with no paper towels and toilet paper that rips at the site of it, she did what any resourceful girl would do...she swished the pants out in the toilet. She told the boy to finish on the pot while she cleaned up more. Once the big chunks were off the pants, she used hand soap and the hand dryer to clean the rest of his shorts. Suddenly a worker walked in to offer assistance followed by an elderly woman holding her shoe. The girl looks confused as the woman said with disgust "Yah!! It's in my shoe too!" The girl was confused because she though she had walked quickly enough to the bathroom to go undetected. This was not the case. A patron of McDonalds was walking in to buy her lunch when she stepped in.....yes....the boys poop! Apparently some of the poop fell from the young boys pants as they walked to the bathroom. Even more mortified now she apologized and went back to the boy who was still in the stall. As she opens the stall door a sight that will remain imbedded in her mind for a long time awaited her. The boy managed to have residual poo on his buns and as he sat down it smeared all over his legs and the seat. Oh the panic that set in the girls heart at that moment. With no resources she used all she knew to use and grabbed the shorts and started the cleaning process--again. She did the best she could for a girl with no experience in this area could. Sure she has a two and a four year old but not once has she encountered such a spectacle. With soaking wet pants she started walking out of the bathroom and again was greeted by a worker. This time questioning if she was went to BRCC and was in fact Jeremy Wilkinsons wife. With shaky voice she replied yes. The lady said "ohhhh! Yes! And I know your whole story." Looking over with affirmation of the young boy who's hand was gripping mine. She replied with embarrassment, "yes this is my world." They laughed understandable and went about their day. And so goes the story of the girl with two...now three children. 😊
Friday, September 5, 2014
Nonfrantic Woman
"Her questions were honest and unassuming, her demeanor kind, her laugh delightfully loud, her paperwork messy, but her focus clear. She stayed focused on the task at hand. She wasn't encumbered with a thousand other things pulling at her. She didn't try to multitask too much. She wasn't a slave to her cell phone. She wasn't running late or running from one thing to the next. She said no to everything else pulling at her so she could say yes to the story."
"If you want people to use such great words to describe you, think about the decision you are making. How are they leading people to describe you?"
"Great descriptions are birthed from great decisions. The decisions we make, make the lives we live. If we want to live better, we've got to decide better. Yes and No. The two most powerful words."
Recently I was told, (by a good friend) I bicker with my husband. Ugh. Not a fun thing to hear....let me define it for you:
I just love what these quotes have to say and in regards to the Nonfrantic Woman. I have been reflecting on this bickering comment and I just love what she said in the first quote. I do all those stated things at different times...and the "isn't a slave to her phone" part....wow....never heard it referred to as "being a slave to your phone"....YIKES, but isn't that what happens?! I was reminded of my favorite verse Genesis 4:7. ....."sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it." It doesn't rule over me, I rule over it! And again, an example I do not want my kids seeing...a mom who is a slave to her phone?? No.
Next quote....if we want to live better, we've got to decide better.......so I have to decide to not bicker. I have to decide to not be a slave to my phone. I have to decide to eat well. I have to decide to exercise. I have to decide to press into what God has for me...even when I'm tired.
The Nonfrantic Woman.
I want to be her. I want to be poised, humble, unassuming, kind....nonfrantic. I want my words to count--every single one of them that comes from my lips. I want them to mean something, be filled with love, not be words that are just a clanging gong.
"I brought to each of those encounters my presence and my love, my Best Yes. And one Best Yes after another took me places I've have never had the privilege to go if I hadn't dared to look at what was right in front of me."
.....She brought her presence...something I am all too familiar with these days that I do not have. With the pace in which life rolls, and having 3 kids under the age of 5 in the house all day....you don't have much time to be "present," to be fully attentive.....you are multitasking to an insane degree, you are trying to keep afloat, dishes done, laundry done.....defusing fights.....and in that I have found that my phone provides a temporary escape....which in turn makes me a slave to it, as I long for that escape.....oh what a vicious little cycle.
Time to stop. Refocus. Put my eyes on Jesus, and as I become present with him; my frantic, bickering, multitasking overloaded self, will become.....Nonfrantic.
"If you want people to use such great words to describe you, think about the decision you are making. How are they leading people to describe you?"
"Great descriptions are birthed from great decisions. The decisions we make, make the lives we live. If we want to live better, we've got to decide better. Yes and No. The two most powerful words."
Recently I was told, (by a good friend) I bicker with my husband. Ugh. Not a fun thing to hear....let me define it for you:
- bick·er
- argue: to argue in a bad-tempered way about something unimportant
I just love what these quotes have to say and in regards to the Nonfrantic Woman. I have been reflecting on this bickering comment and I just love what she said in the first quote. I do all those stated things at different times...and the "isn't a slave to her phone" part....wow....never heard it referred to as "being a slave to your phone"....YIKES, but isn't that what happens?! I was reminded of my favorite verse Genesis 4:7. ....."sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it." It doesn't rule over me, I rule over it! And again, an example I do not want my kids seeing...a mom who is a slave to her phone?? No.
Next quote....if we want to live better, we've got to decide better.......so I have to decide to not bicker. I have to decide to not be a slave to my phone. I have to decide to eat well. I have to decide to exercise. I have to decide to press into what God has for me...even when I'm tired.
The Nonfrantic Woman.
I want to be her. I want to be poised, humble, unassuming, kind....nonfrantic. I want my words to count--every single one of them that comes from my lips. I want them to mean something, be filled with love, not be words that are just a clanging gong.
"I brought to each of those encounters my presence and my love, my Best Yes. And one Best Yes after another took me places I've have never had the privilege to go if I hadn't dared to look at what was right in front of me."
.....She brought her presence...something I am all too familiar with these days that I do not have. With the pace in which life rolls, and having 3 kids under the age of 5 in the house all day....you don't have much time to be "present," to be fully attentive.....you are multitasking to an insane degree, you are trying to keep afloat, dishes done, laundry done.....defusing fights.....and in that I have found that my phone provides a temporary escape....which in turn makes me a slave to it, as I long for that escape.....oh what a vicious little cycle.
Time to stop. Refocus. Put my eyes on Jesus, and as I become present with him; my frantic, bickering, multitasking overloaded self, will become.....Nonfrantic.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Real Life
The fairy tale has worn off you could say. We are getting into the real life emotions, feelings, and hurts you would expect to find in a situation like the one we are in. The past two weeks have been hard. Really hard. Anger, hurt, attitude, fear, frustration, and mile high walls all directed at me specifically. I have watched a close friend go through this same thing, and its one thing to empathize with someone, but its a whole other ball game when you are the one walking through it! Shew. It is hard to love, when you are being mistreated. It is hard to turn the other cheek when you are constantly being compared. Its hard to serve when there is no gratitude. Its hard to keep the self-protection walls down within yourself when you are not being treated kindly. Its hard not to favor and compare when you are being ignored. Real life is hard.
Then I stop and think about what Jesus went through, and I break. My "situation" is VERY minor compared to Him and all he went through, but he still loved. He still poured out. He still gave. He still remained open, soft, and…..obedient. That's hard. Real life is hard.
I was reading 2 Chronicles 1:1-13 today. It was talking about how Solomon, son of David, established himself as King. Verse 1 says "….for the Lord his God was with him and made him exceedingly great." I love that. it was because the Lord was with him that made Solomon great.
Then the next few verses go like this: "God appeared to Solomon and said to him. "Ask whatever you want me to give you" Solomon answered God, "You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me King in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead these people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
Go and read the rest of the verses and see how God responds….its amazing. But I wanted to stop and focus on Solomon for a minute. Say what? God said "Ask whatever you want me to give you"….and Solomon, who just became King said…."Give me wisdom and knowledge??"
This is God here, Solomon…..he can give you whatever you want and you ask for wisdom and knowledge!?!
Wow. What character, right?
I was stopped in the tracks of these verses, because in real life, this life, through the hurt and the pain, as I have been tasked with leading these kids…..my first thing I ask God for is NOT wisdom and knowledge. Its take these kids away kind of stuff! haha
Wow! To be able to respond in the thick of life, "God give me wisdom and knowledge. I know you lead us here, I know we are here for a reason…I know you have clearly set all this in motion, I know for this season we are to lead these kids well…..so give me wisdom and knowledge!" So many times I become the victim and want to have the comfort and shelter of taking the easy route in real life. Oh to get to a place where my first request is for knowledge and wisdom to lead these kids well. How different would my days be? How different would my responses be?!
Oh Lord, thank you for continuing molding and shaping me. Thank you for not stopping where you left me the last time you shaped something in me, but continuing to move and mold me more and more like you. Lord help me get to a place where my first request of you is for wisdom and knowledge. I know and trust you that we are here because you asked us to be here, so help me to have wisdom and knowledge in knowing how to lead these little lives well!
Then I stop and think about what Jesus went through, and I break. My "situation" is VERY minor compared to Him and all he went through, but he still loved. He still poured out. He still gave. He still remained open, soft, and…..obedient. That's hard. Real life is hard.
I was reading 2 Chronicles 1:1-13 today. It was talking about how Solomon, son of David, established himself as King. Verse 1 says "….for the Lord his God was with him and made him exceedingly great." I love that. it was because the Lord was with him that made Solomon great.
Then the next few verses go like this: "God appeared to Solomon and said to him. "Ask whatever you want me to give you" Solomon answered God, "You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me King in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead these people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
Go and read the rest of the verses and see how God responds….its amazing. But I wanted to stop and focus on Solomon for a minute. Say what? God said "Ask whatever you want me to give you"….and Solomon, who just became King said…."Give me wisdom and knowledge??"
This is God here, Solomon…..he can give you whatever you want and you ask for wisdom and knowledge!?!
Wow. What character, right?
I was stopped in the tracks of these verses, because in real life, this life, through the hurt and the pain, as I have been tasked with leading these kids…..my first thing I ask God for is NOT wisdom and knowledge. Its take these kids away kind of stuff! haha
Wow! To be able to respond in the thick of life, "God give me wisdom and knowledge. I know you lead us here, I know we are here for a reason…I know you have clearly set all this in motion, I know for this season we are to lead these kids well…..so give me wisdom and knowledge!" So many times I become the victim and want to have the comfort and shelter of taking the easy route in real life. Oh to get to a place where my first request is for knowledge and wisdom to lead these kids well. How different would my days be? How different would my responses be?!
Oh Lord, thank you for continuing molding and shaping me. Thank you for not stopping where you left me the last time you shaped something in me, but continuing to move and mold me more and more like you. Lord help me get to a place where my first request of you is for wisdom and knowledge. I know and trust you that we are here because you asked us to be here, so help me to have wisdom and knowledge in knowing how to lead these little lives well!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
You...
You. You who read my blog, I know this is from you 😊 I don't talk about things other places so I know it had to come from a blog friend....how can I thank you? Well hopefully you see one of the ways I have reached out to thank you for this tiny little card. I don't you to know it has caused me yet again to weep. Haha we have been so so beyond blessed and are without adequate words to express our gratitude to you and our Heavenly Father who is using His church to bless us. Since the last post I've had a friend bring us a meal we can freeze and pull out when things are low, and dear friend from college helped out, from people coming to sit for me so I can go get groceries {alone}, to being able to have a date with my husband, and now to you tiny card. We feel so well taken care of! Thank you thank you whoever "you" are. What and awesome blessing! My God is good and cares deeply for us! To Him be the glory!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Held
Have you ever been in those seasons of life that are hard, but without a shadow of a doubt you knew you were being held by the creator of the universe? We are entering week 4 of having two extra kids in our home, and without a shadow of a doubt it has been the most challenging thing I've ever done. Ever. Keep in mind I'm a wimp, and from a Leave It to Beaver type family dynamic so this has rocked my little type A personality a little bit. Needing a plan, having structure, being orderly, and on time has been thrown by the wayside. There are days I feel like I'm in the ocean treading water and all that is showing is my face enough for breath. From sibling style arguments, from messes that would shock anyone, to the 2-3 laundry loads I do in a day (yes! in a day! who uses THAT much stuff to be washed, right??), to being a counselor, to being a manager of good manners, to wiping tears, to reading books, and becoming a waitress. This past week the treading water, face gasping for air was diminished by His church; our core group. I have never in my life felt more held by my Heavenly Father. I was suppose to attend my women's small group one Saturday morning, and it was my only morning that I was able to sleep in (which is 7am), so I kindly bowed out and said I was not going to make it. Well His church, the body of Christ, what did they do? They rallied together and brought us breakfast! Not just a small breakfast either, I mean it was waffles, fresh fruit, juice, eggs, bacon! The works! It was amazing! Then this past week we have been feeling the financial strain of bringing two more mouths into our home. Mouths that actually eat! haha! Our girls are still in birdie stage and don't eat much, but these sweet kiddos are growing & they EAT! haha So we have a very strict budget that we follow (Thank you Dave Ramsey!), and we had gone through four weeks of food money in three weeks! Yes we have savings so we knew we would be ok, but do you know what His church, the body of Christ, our core group of friends, who are our family out here, did? We were out all day yesterday and came home to a completely stocked refrigerator, stocked full freezer, stocked full pantry, and beautiful roses (my favorite) on the table with a note. I wept. I had no words, I just needed to weep. Held. I felt so completely held and loved by my Father who loves me, and cares for me, and knows me! He uses people to bless and to encourage, and to spur on. He is amazing. I have felt Him so much this past week in conversations that I KNEW were directly for me and my heart. I have felt Him in the new high school student I met today…who had the exact same story as Brooklyn and Brock. She was 8 & her brother was 4 when they came to the family who eventually adopted them. I wept. In front of my new friend that I just met who was a student and instead of me leading her, she was leading me. Held. My God is sweet to me and loves me in ways I had no clue he would love me. This week my treading, face hardly out of the water has turned into floating on top of the water with His hand on my back, being Held. I love Him, and am so honored that I get to walk this life out with him.
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