Hello. Its been a while. Its been a busy season. yes. wow. Its April!
Last night officially marked the completion of the Foster Care Training piece of applying for Foster Care. Now all that stands in our way of a child in our home, is some finger prints, health assessments, and building of a Murphy bed. Crazy. We are doing this, like really. Haha I think somewhere in my mind I thought during this process, "ok Gods going to stop us and say, ok see…I just wanted you to be faithful and lean in, and this is what I will do now." I have a feeling he was serious that Foster Care is really what he wanted for us….and that scares me. But excites me at the same time. I am excited to watch is plan unfold and watch a little life come into our lives that is broken and hurting and watch HIM restore and repair. Its going to be a beautifully awful process I'm sure of it. The timing of how the Lord orchestrates things blows my little human mind too some. This has been the hardest season to date with my kids, I'm starting another round of Made for More in two weeks, but with real live teens this time, I am on the verge of the project I work for going under, thus leaving me jobless, my husband leaving for Nepal for two weeks, trying not to say no to every cake offer I get in case I do loose my job, and all the while trying to maintain a house that is in order. Spinning, spinning, spinning…..see how I got to April this quick! Shew. I need an older woman to show me how to keep all these plates spinning at the same time. Some days I'm like ok I just need to let this plate fall to the floor and I'll deal with the mess when I have a second. There has to be a way to keep marching on without everything else wobbling out of control. Any suggestions out there?
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Keep Saying Yes
Well here we are. Feb. 24th! Foster Care training starts tonight! Something has happened in my heart over these past couple months, and I'm actually not dreading this training! Dare I say I'm actually kind of "excited" shhh don't tell anyone. ;)
Isn't it funny though, how we can go through something thinking its for someone else, but all the while God is revealing more and more that it was for you? I have lead high school girls through a study called Made for More, and its about learning and discovering what a life lived in His freedom really looks. The more I walk girls through this study the more I'm convinced its for me. Currently I'm walking the Middle School Leaders of my church through this study, and I just love the truths God has revealed. It has drastically changed me….and is still changing me. This past week in group we learned tools to help us combat lies that the enemy tries to trick us with. I love watching the truth that we have the power (Gods word) to combat the lies that the enemy throws at us. If Christ is in us, we are His dwelling place, and we have divine power through him. Then as the night goes on, I see it.
The struggle.
A conversation in ones head could go like this:
"Yes, I have my broken place I currently reside in. I do life here, its messy at times, and it is broken, but I reside here. I operate here. I am comfortable here. I KNOW here. So you're telling me I have a way out? You're telling me I don't have to live in these chains anymore? (then it hits) That might take some work….That might lead me to some uncomfortable places….I don't like the unknown…..I don't think I want a way out."
Then we read Ephesians 4:22-24msg
"Since then we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything -and I do mean everything - connected with that old way of life has to go. It is rotten through and through. Get rid of it!! And then take on an entirely new way of life - a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside out working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you."
And that is where I apologize to them. :)
After going through this study, we/I/they do not have the excuse of ignorance any more. We don't get the option to stay where we are! We must keep saying yes.
That has become my anthem over the past year or so…"Keep saying yes." Whatever you ask of me Lord, I will just keep saying yes to you. No doubt its going to lead me to some more terrifying places that I've never been. That has proven itself true already! But in all of this life, as I've been walking with Him; He has never. Not once. Ever. failed me. He has never left me. He has never said "Janna, jump off this huge cliff I will catch you" then ran away as I was jumping so I fall flat on my face. He is there. He is with me. And I TRUST him.
This is the new place my heart is in toward Foster Care. Once just putting one foot in front of the other but slightly still dragging it, hoping He was really wasn't asking this of us. To a place of freedom. Another area where I'm standing on that cliff looking down at the unbelievably high canyon below me and he says, "Jump I will catch you."
Each time I say yes, and each time I jump, I trust Him so much more.
Funny how that works.
Isn't it funny though, how we can go through something thinking its for someone else, but all the while God is revealing more and more that it was for you? I have lead high school girls through a study called Made for More, and its about learning and discovering what a life lived in His freedom really looks. The more I walk girls through this study the more I'm convinced its for me. Currently I'm walking the Middle School Leaders of my church through this study, and I just love the truths God has revealed. It has drastically changed me….and is still changing me. This past week in group we learned tools to help us combat lies that the enemy tries to trick us with. I love watching the truth that we have the power (Gods word) to combat the lies that the enemy throws at us. If Christ is in us, we are His dwelling place, and we have divine power through him. Then as the night goes on, I see it.
The struggle.
A conversation in ones head could go like this:
"Yes, I have my broken place I currently reside in. I do life here, its messy at times, and it is broken, but I reside here. I operate here. I am comfortable here. I KNOW here. So you're telling me I have a way out? You're telling me I don't have to live in these chains anymore? (then it hits) That might take some work….That might lead me to some uncomfortable places….I don't like the unknown…..I don't think I want a way out."
Then we read Ephesians 4:22-24msg
"Since then we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything -and I do mean everything - connected with that old way of life has to go. It is rotten through and through. Get rid of it!! And then take on an entirely new way of life - a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside out working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you."
And that is where I apologize to them. :)
After going through this study, we/I/they do not have the excuse of ignorance any more. We don't get the option to stay where we are! We must keep saying yes.
That has become my anthem over the past year or so…"Keep saying yes." Whatever you ask of me Lord, I will just keep saying yes to you. No doubt its going to lead me to some more terrifying places that I've never been. That has proven itself true already! But in all of this life, as I've been walking with Him; He has never. Not once. Ever. failed me. He has never left me. He has never said "Janna, jump off this huge cliff I will catch you" then ran away as I was jumping so I fall flat on my face. He is there. He is with me. And I TRUST him.
This is the new place my heart is in toward Foster Care. Once just putting one foot in front of the other but slightly still dragging it, hoping He was really wasn't asking this of us. To a place of freedom. Another area where I'm standing on that cliff looking down at the unbelievably high canyon below me and he says, "Jump I will catch you."
Each time I say yes, and each time I jump, I trust Him so much more.
Funny how that works.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Gone and Done It
Well...we did it. We really as my Southern friends would say "gone and done it." We filled out the Foster Care application and we are starting our six weeks of training on Feb. 24th.
I have several things paralleling when this training should take place, so it is going to be so awesome watching The Lord sustain me and help get me through all of it, because as of now, in my strength, I'm starting to schedule my massages due to the stress! Ha!
Shew what a ride, never in my life did I imagine this is what my life would be like, living on the edge of that cliff constantly being encouraged and asked to take jumps off the high peaks, trusting and knowing that The Lord is there to be my parachute.....over and over...and over...and over He asks me to jump, and yet....I still am terrified of jumping. I wonder if it will get easier at some point?
But for now.....here we goooooooooo!
:)
I have several things paralleling when this training should take place, so it is going to be so awesome watching The Lord sustain me and help get me through all of it, because as of now, in my strength, I'm starting to schedule my massages due to the stress! Ha!
Shew what a ride, never in my life did I imagine this is what my life would be like, living on the edge of that cliff constantly being encouraged and asked to take jumps off the high peaks, trusting and knowing that The Lord is there to be my parachute.....over and over...and over...and over He asks me to jump, and yet....I still am terrified of jumping. I wonder if it will get easier at some point?
But for now.....here we goooooooooo!
:)
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Don't forget the "so that"....
As many of you know, those of you who know me in real life that is, know that we are in the middle of a winter...storm? Well its not really a storm its a winter chill, how about that. The temps have been around 3ยบ and below zero with the wind chill. Very cold to say the least.
Well one of my good buddies had the idea to open up our church to the community around our city that currently don't have a home. You see the Salvation Army offers a place to stay, but they were at capacity with 80 beds filled, and the Daily Bread, another shelter here in town, was also to capacity. So he had the idea to open up our church to them so they could have a warm place to stay until the weather warmed back up a little.
What an idea! A simple one, but one that kind of hit me upside the head...well duh...why wouldn't we do that??? Then just like that the people jumped in head first...planning, coordinating, pitching in! Local restaurants have been so willing to help pitch in with food that we had to stop the food from coming because there is so much! WOW! Praise God! It has been beautiful watching this, very tangible way of being Jesus' hands and feet, come alive in people! So many people have come to help and just be with them and welcome them into our "home" the church. It has filled my heart with so much awe and wonder I could float for days.
There was more news of an old folks home water line breaking and there were about 60 elderly folks needing a place to stay as well! So blue ridge did it again and opened up their doors to them as well! So now there are two different groups of guests staying at the church building and from what I heard there were so many people pitching in to help accommodate everyone...even the guests!! Now THAT is cool!! The news has traveled quickly around the city of what has been happening and news stations have come out to interview, people around town are talking about it, and as I hear all the chatter of what is happening...I stop and think.....in the hustle and bustle and the planning and the prepping, I hope we haven't forgotten the "so that" in all of this. So that.....they may know Him....I trust the community of believers that I'm a part of and have no doubt that the "so that" is there and fully being talked about, but it just made me wonder about other situation we/I find myself in at times....do I forget the "so that?" Quite honestly....I think I do at times. I don't want to forget the so that, I want that to be my first, last and middle thought of each situation that I find myself in. I'm so thankful for times like this when I can stop and get a gentle reminders like this one.....Don't forget the "so that."
Well one of my good buddies had the idea to open up our church to the community around our city that currently don't have a home. You see the Salvation Army offers a place to stay, but they were at capacity with 80 beds filled, and the Daily Bread, another shelter here in town, was also to capacity. So he had the idea to open up our church to them so they could have a warm place to stay until the weather warmed back up a little.
What an idea! A simple one, but one that kind of hit me upside the head...well duh...why wouldn't we do that??? Then just like that the people jumped in head first...planning, coordinating, pitching in! Local restaurants have been so willing to help pitch in with food that we had to stop the food from coming because there is so much! WOW! Praise God! It has been beautiful watching this, very tangible way of being Jesus' hands and feet, come alive in people! So many people have come to help and just be with them and welcome them into our "home" the church. It has filled my heart with so much awe and wonder I could float for days.
There was more news of an old folks home water line breaking and there were about 60 elderly folks needing a place to stay as well! So blue ridge did it again and opened up their doors to them as well! So now there are two different groups of guests staying at the church building and from what I heard there were so many people pitching in to help accommodate everyone...even the guests!! Now THAT is cool!! The news has traveled quickly around the city of what has been happening and news stations have come out to interview, people around town are talking about it, and as I hear all the chatter of what is happening...I stop and think.....in the hustle and bustle and the planning and the prepping, I hope we haven't forgotten the "so that" in all of this. So that.....they may know Him....I trust the community of believers that I'm a part of and have no doubt that the "so that" is there and fully being talked about, but it just made me wonder about other situation we/I find myself in at times....do I forget the "so that?" Quite honestly....I think I do at times. I don't want to forget the so that, I want that to be my first, last and middle thought of each situation that I find myself in. I'm so thankful for times like this when I can stop and get a gentle reminders like this one.....Don't forget the "so that."
Nice Quiet Weekend.....
The nice quiet weekend that was planned was quickly altered when I got a call on my Friday off from my friend at 10am. Her father in law was in the hospital and in critical condition. Her husband had decided to drive down and she was going to just stay the weekend at home with her 3 children (14, 3, & 2) instead of lugging them to South Carolina. As any good friend would do, I offered to keep her children so she could go with her husband. Another one of our friends offered too and so they took us up on it & left friday mid-day.
So then started my weekend of being a mom of...many! haha Shew. They were SUCH good kids, don't hear that wrong, but man...how exhausting.....
and I started that blog post two days ago! haha Yep, that pretty much sums it up! ;)
So then started my weekend of being a mom of...many! haha Shew. They were SUCH good kids, don't hear that wrong, but man...how exhausting.....
and I started that blog post two days ago! haha Yep, that pretty much sums it up! ;)
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Here We Go
I am seemingly averaging one post a month these days which makes me sad because there are days that I have so much to say, but just don't even have the energy to turn on my computer. Outside of my work and smart phone I don't think I log on to a computer more than once a month these days! There have been several things that have been rattling around in this head that I've not had a chance to get out, but I felt in the interest of marker moments in our lives this one needs to get documented.
Remember my last post? The one on living in light of eternity? Yah that one, that tiny little post....well its funny how God starts to do something in our hearts and then actually calls us to them....So yah we are in a moment like that.
Lets back up...in early November (told you its been a while!) we went to an adoption/foster care rally at my church. I was fully going as a support and encouragement to others. See where I am (was) with more than the two kids we have is....perfect. I do not want more. Hear me...I do not want more. You can think about it like this...as much as Jeremy did not want children at all is as much as I do not want more than two. So that is where I am as I go to this rally. Well as God in all his sweet gentle kind ways that he does, a girl was talking and she was giving us the perspective of a child that was pretty much born into the system and aged out of the system. What I loved about her was she was so real and honest and flat out said, I'm not here to convince you to adopt or foster a child, I'm here to tell you the child's perspective. She did alright! It was beautifully heartbreaking. As I'm sitting there in my stubbornness of not wanting more kids there was a section of her talk that hit me hard...and the Holy Spirit said, that is your next step. So I immediately do what I do best, and I said NO. Ha! :)
There it was again, Janna, that is your next step....so I do what I normally do and put my foot down and say "fine, but you have to do something in Jeremy's heart too because I am not leading this!" In all my spoiled brat manner.
So the rally finishes and it was a great time of encouragement....but as we are driving home before we could really even get a full conversation out, God had did what he originally did with Jeremy & my hearts at catalyst in 2009....he aligned our hearts. We both felt we were being called to move into Foster Care.
So now that is what has been rattling around in this head of mine...I have no clue if that means we are supposed to Foster to adopt where they will be a part of our families forever, or if it means we are to be a safe place for a season for a child to come into and find healing? We have no clue, we are just starting the process, and part of that process has been to simplify our home. So that is what we have been doing the past month. The next step is an informational meeting with one of the local agencies; which we are attending tonight. So if you are reading this blog today would you please lift us up in prayer tonight as we go. We are just trying to be obedient to what God has asked us to do, but aren't 100% sure we know what this will look like. So we are hoping for come clarity and confirmation tonight as we go.
So with as much as I really do not want more children, yes still if it were up to me I'd be done for good in the kid arena, I see the beauty in the story that God is writing in our hearts and lives. I can't wait to open our home to a little child that has been broken and needs a home just to feel and be loved unconditionally. I can't wait to be an outward example of what Christ does for us, he pursues us, he finds us, he wants to love us, he wants to mend our hearts and make us well. I am so excited to watch a little heart grow and bloom at the discovery of how much God truly does love them. There is beauty in all of this.....its just a little scary as we go...ok a lot scary. Would love and cherish the prayers! xoxo
Remember my last post? The one on living in light of eternity? Yah that one, that tiny little post....well its funny how God starts to do something in our hearts and then actually calls us to them....So yah we are in a moment like that.
Lets back up...in early November (told you its been a while!) we went to an adoption/foster care rally at my church. I was fully going as a support and encouragement to others. See where I am (was) with more than the two kids we have is....perfect. I do not want more. Hear me...I do not want more. You can think about it like this...as much as Jeremy did not want children at all is as much as I do not want more than two. So that is where I am as I go to this rally. Well as God in all his sweet gentle kind ways that he does, a girl was talking and she was giving us the perspective of a child that was pretty much born into the system and aged out of the system. What I loved about her was she was so real and honest and flat out said, I'm not here to convince you to adopt or foster a child, I'm here to tell you the child's perspective. She did alright! It was beautifully heartbreaking. As I'm sitting there in my stubbornness of not wanting more kids there was a section of her talk that hit me hard...and the Holy Spirit said, that is your next step. So I immediately do what I do best, and I said NO. Ha! :)
There it was again, Janna, that is your next step....so I do what I normally do and put my foot down and say "fine, but you have to do something in Jeremy's heart too because I am not leading this!" In all my spoiled brat manner.
So the rally finishes and it was a great time of encouragement....but as we are driving home before we could really even get a full conversation out, God had did what he originally did with Jeremy & my hearts at catalyst in 2009....he aligned our hearts. We both felt we were being called to move into Foster Care.
So now that is what has been rattling around in this head of mine...I have no clue if that means we are supposed to Foster to adopt where they will be a part of our families forever, or if it means we are to be a safe place for a season for a child to come into and find healing? We have no clue, we are just starting the process, and part of that process has been to simplify our home. So that is what we have been doing the past month. The next step is an informational meeting with one of the local agencies; which we are attending tonight. So if you are reading this blog today would you please lift us up in prayer tonight as we go. We are just trying to be obedient to what God has asked us to do, but aren't 100% sure we know what this will look like. So we are hoping for come clarity and confirmation tonight as we go.
So with as much as I really do not want more children, yes still if it were up to me I'd be done for good in the kid arena, I see the beauty in the story that God is writing in our hearts and lives. I can't wait to open our home to a little child that has been broken and needs a home just to feel and be loved unconditionally. I can't wait to be an outward example of what Christ does for us, he pursues us, he finds us, he wants to love us, he wants to mend our hearts and make us well. I am so excited to watch a little heart grow and bloom at the discovery of how much God truly does love them. There is beauty in all of this.....its just a little scary as we go...ok a lot scary. Would love and cherish the prayers! xoxo
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Living in light of Eternity
Lately God has been impressed on my heart this idea of "Living in light of Eternity." I've been challenged to look at what this means on a daily basis, and its not fun. haha I mean it is, but you understand what I mean, its a daily dying to self, and (for me) that is not fun. I like pleasing myself if I'm completely honest. I like convenient, I like easy, I like cookie cutter. But as I read through scripture and let scripture read me, dying to self, personal convenience, easy, and cookie cutter is not how Jesus told us to live. At all. That is when I start to get the sweats. Sweaty palms, racing heart, the jitters.....and I say Lord, I'm good. Life is good. I have my family of four and we are good! But did he call me to just have this perfect cookie cutter life? And is he calling me to stay there....and if I'm being honest the answer is no. EVENThough, I would love to say yes. :)
As I read through the word, I got to thinking about how we are just passing through this life. This is not the end all be all place to plant and take root life, if we are followers of Christ. We are passing through, only. God in all his graciousness allowed us to be here on earth at this very time and season we are here, and his heart and his desire is for us to impact His Kingdom. Not to strive for the perfect family of four, white picket fence, and perfect career. We are passing through. The point is to bring people with us as we pass through.
I have been reading 1st & 2nd Timothy a lot lately and I just love the encouragement Paul gives to Timothy. He is a source of strength and encouragement for him. All throughout these books Paul is helping Timothy and paved all through out his letter there is one theme...living in light of eternity. Here are some things I've been learning:
1 Timothy 1:15-17 Paul remembers what God did for him, remembers where he came from, and knows where he is going...he is living in light of eternity, and does not forget that he is a sinner saved by grace.
1 Timothy 4:7-8 Paul says to train yourself to be Godly. What sound advice! because how hard is it to be Godly? Its very hard, so he tells timothy to TRAIN yourself. Its not going to come natural, you have to work at it. He also knew this eternal mindset was not a natural response either....we have to train ourselves to have it.
2 Timothy 2:22-25 Paul is writing timothy with Jesus in mind as his example. All throughout the Gospels we see Jesus' life and we see he took every opportunity to teach his disciples about the Kingdom of God, and whatever he taught them, He lived before them! So in order to continue in this eternal mindset, we need to live out what we believe. Live out what the Bible tells us to. That is living in light of eternity!
2 Timothy 4:3-8 No matter how hard this life gets...keep going! Keep your eyes on the goal...eternity. Keeping our eyes on what really matters, what we are here for, what impact we are supposed to have for HIS Kingdom is why we live in light of eternity, and can one day join Paul in saying, "I have fought the good fight! I have finished the race! and I have kept the faith!"
Joseph M. Stowell, Pastor for the Moody Church in Chicago wrote, "When we believe the reality of the other side, we start behaving differently on this side. This is what drove the disciples our into their world - they had seen firsthand the reality of the other side."
As I read through the word, I got to thinking about how we are just passing through this life. This is not the end all be all place to plant and take root life, if we are followers of Christ. We are passing through, only. God in all his graciousness allowed us to be here on earth at this very time and season we are here, and his heart and his desire is for us to impact His Kingdom. Not to strive for the perfect family of four, white picket fence, and perfect career. We are passing through. The point is to bring people with us as we pass through.
I have been reading 1st & 2nd Timothy a lot lately and I just love the encouragement Paul gives to Timothy. He is a source of strength and encouragement for him. All throughout these books Paul is helping Timothy and paved all through out his letter there is one theme...living in light of eternity. Here are some things I've been learning:
1 Timothy 1:15-17 Paul remembers what God did for him, remembers where he came from, and knows where he is going...he is living in light of eternity, and does not forget that he is a sinner saved by grace.
1 Timothy 4:7-8 Paul says to train yourself to be Godly. What sound advice! because how hard is it to be Godly? Its very hard, so he tells timothy to TRAIN yourself. Its not going to come natural, you have to work at it. He also knew this eternal mindset was not a natural response either....we have to train ourselves to have it.
2 Timothy 2:22-25 Paul is writing timothy with Jesus in mind as his example. All throughout the Gospels we see Jesus' life and we see he took every opportunity to teach his disciples about the Kingdom of God, and whatever he taught them, He lived before them! So in order to continue in this eternal mindset, we need to live out what we believe. Live out what the Bible tells us to. That is living in light of eternity!
2 Timothy 4:3-8 No matter how hard this life gets...keep going! Keep your eyes on the goal...eternity. Keeping our eyes on what really matters, what we are here for, what impact we are supposed to have for HIS Kingdom is why we live in light of eternity, and can one day join Paul in saying, "I have fought the good fight! I have finished the race! and I have kept the faith!"
Joseph M. Stowell, Pastor for the Moody Church in Chicago wrote, "When we believe the reality of the other side, we start behaving differently on this side. This is what drove the disciples our into their world - they had seen firsthand the reality of the other side."
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