The fairy tale has worn off you could say. We are getting into the real life emotions, feelings, and hurts you would expect to find in a situation like the one we are in. The past two weeks have been hard. Really hard. Anger, hurt, attitude, fear, frustration, and mile high walls all directed at me specifically. I have watched a close friend go through this same thing, and its one thing to empathize with someone, but its a whole other ball game when you are the one walking through it! Shew. It is hard to love, when you are being mistreated. It is hard to turn the other cheek when you are constantly being compared. Its hard to serve when there is no gratitude. Its hard to keep the self-protection walls down within yourself when you are not being treated kindly. Its hard not to favor and compare when you are being ignored. Real life is hard.
Then I stop and think about what Jesus went through, and I break. My "situation" is VERY minor compared to Him and all he went through, but he still loved. He still poured out. He still gave. He still remained open, soft, and…..obedient. That's hard. Real life is hard.
I was reading 2 Chronicles 1:1-13 today. It was talking about how Solomon, son of David, established himself as King. Verse 1 says "….for the Lord his God was with him and made him exceedingly great." I love that. it was because the Lord was with him that made Solomon great.
Then the next few verses go like this: "God appeared to Solomon and said to him. "Ask whatever you want me to give you" Solomon answered God, "You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me King in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead these people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
Go and read the rest of the verses and see how God responds….its amazing. But I wanted to stop and focus on Solomon for a minute. Say what? God said "Ask whatever you want me to give you"….and Solomon, who just became King said…."Give me wisdom and knowledge??"
This is God here, Solomon…..he can give you whatever you want and you ask for wisdom and knowledge!?!
Wow. What character, right?
I was stopped in the tracks of these verses, because in real life, this life, through the hurt and the pain, as I have been tasked with leading these kids…..my first thing I ask God for is NOT wisdom and knowledge. Its take these kids away kind of stuff! haha
Wow! To be able to respond in the thick of life, "God give me wisdom and knowledge. I know you lead us here, I know we are here for a reason…I know you have clearly set all this in motion, I know for this season we are to lead these kids well…..so give me wisdom and knowledge!" So many times I become the victim and want to have the comfort and shelter of taking the easy route in real life. Oh to get to a place where my first request is for knowledge and wisdom to lead these kids well. How different would my days be? How different would my responses be?!
Oh Lord, thank you for continuing molding and shaping me. Thank you for not stopping where you left me the last time you shaped something in me, but continuing to move and mold me more and more like you. Lord help me get to a place where my first request of you is for wisdom and knowledge. I know and trust you that we are here because you asked us to be here, so help me to have wisdom and knowledge in knowing how to lead these little lives well!
