Yet again it's been awhile...I would love to blog more than I do, but life seems to go by faster and faster with each month and because of that somehow I have found myself almost mid August!
This summer has been so wonderful. A small confession & reason for that is because we are back down to a 2 child household again after the past two summers where we had 4 children all summer....If I may be honest....its been amazing. I just am a two kid mom. I get two kids. I can do two kids. I can hold one and hold the hand of the other. I can find time to clean & find time to play.
Because of this being a much easier summer too, my husband & I decided to give ourselves a treat....after 3 years of no vacation to speak of & 13 years of not being back to a tropical island, we finally on an....wait for it.....adult vacation!! We went to Aruba! Oh my goodness I could bore you all day long with how amazing this trip was! So many reasons, but the main reason is because we took an entire week to invest in our marriage. And rest. And relax; together.
That is the thing we haven't been really good at since kids came into our journey. We just haven't really known how. Well now we do & I can assure you there will be more tropical vacations to come!
Another reason it was so good was because I feel like the fog has lifted in regards to the fear I have been battling. (I am almost feeling fear as I type that, because now something is going to happen & bring the fear back, just because I said that!) As I sat in Aruba and was just resting, one thing I noticed was the looming fear that had been clouding my judgement this past year, wasn't there. I felt so peaceful, I felt rested, and fear was never a category for me there. I was actually enjoying life! Fear has crept in my life since the day my Father past away & I have been trying to manage it the best I know how. God, so gracious and sweet to me always, had to gently remind me of how important prayer is. Yes I prayed about the fear going away, but it was as if my mind was so jaded by fear that I didn't realize I wasn't truly praying for the fear to go away....I was so consumed by it that I didn't realize I wasn't fully asking for his help. He showed me that the only person on earth that can stop my prayers is: ME. He also showed me that I have a part to play in prayer as well & that is that I am to actively acknowledge & embrace my prayers. Instead of clamoring to receive an answer as to why I am struggling, I am to ask God with a calm and trusting heart...thanking Him in advance and believing that I will receive what I need. My job is to acknowledge and embrace prayer. Let's never get so old or sophisticated that we forget to come to Him as little children do. God loves you. God loves me. He loves our company and spending time with us, searching the depths of our souls, and hearing the dreams of our hearts.
"He protects His flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them in the fold of His garment." Isaiah 40:11
Maybe for you, like me, it's time to get back to acknowledging and embracing the prayers of our hearts.
