Yes you. The one who has lost the vision that there is a hope. The one who is standing, kneeling rather, tear filled eyes, as you gaze across the living room that is trashed with toys, as you just spent hours cleaning it the day before. Yes you, the one who can't stand one more person touching them, not one. To the one who feels as though the walls are caving in on her because the flu has quarantined her and taken down every member in her home. To you, working mom, who has to come home to cook, clean, and care for the family, while also carrying out 40 hours of office work a week. To you, who is watching her face age before her very eyes. To you, drowning mom, who wants to give up, hello.
I recognize you, because I was you. Just a few short years ago. For those of you who have already tuned me out due to the fact you think this is a "mommy club" post. I assure you it isn't. I despise the mommy club. I felt so left out for years because I wasn't "apart" of it, and now that I do have kids....well... I will tell you, it is no "club."
It is hard, gruesome, exhausting work; and should never be taken lightly.
You see, I am in an odd boat because I was one of the ones who begged, and begged for kids....and I got kids. So, it's hard to admit there was a "drowning mom" inside of me, because after all, "You prayed for this." As many of my friends have repeated to me over the years.
The first five years of a child's life is no joke people. There are SO many ups and downs, hills and valleys, high highs and low lows, that some days you start on one and end on another, and that is just within the first hour. Age 3-5 specifically is not for the faint of heart. To parent well, it takes everything within you to make it through. And there are days and months you really don't believe you will.
To that I say, on this side of it, being able to take a look back on some of my mountain top moments and my deep valley moments, I say this one vital piece of advice: Get a buddy.
Ladies, this mom/wife/friend/woman thing is hard work. Hard is an understatement; Find a buddy!!
Find a friend that you can partner with and do each other a favor and give each other breaks! God has so blessed me with this in my life and I tell you, it is the only way I made it through some of my deep dark valley's.
Take on her kids plus yours one afternoon, so she can go grocery shop--ALONE. Have her take on your kids plus hers so you can go drink coffee at Barnes and Noble while reading a magazine. Take her kids so she can go sit in her car for an hour or two. Have her take your kids so you can get a hair cut mid-day! I tell you, on this side, you will find if you partner up, these times will act as a life preserver for you. A lifeline. You will notice you aren't drowning anymore; you may be holding on to the plank while still submerged...but you won't be drowning.
You will start to notice as you get in the routine of this, that you will become a better Mom, and a happier wife. Throw off the pride of "you don't want to put someone out".....ladies that is a lie. Besides if you have a buddy and you both are leaning on each other, taking turns having alone time...after a while you will see it's not putting her out, it's actually making you better! And it's making her better! And together, you will no longer be the drowning mom.
Much love xo
