Cake

Oh Cake.
Dear sweet cake.
You are a fun hobby, but oh so stressful.

For those of you who may not know my blog has everything in it. From what God is teaching me to my kids, to randomness, and to my hobby. I would say making cakes is my hobby. I started two years ago this coming January, and the goal was to make my daughter Ella's 1st birthday. Inspired by Buddy from Cake Boss, love that show by the way, I thought I will try to make a nice cake for Ella. So I started researching & learning. Failing, trying again, dry cakes, not cooked all the way cakes, to the cakes that just go smooth. Her cake was pulled off and I was happy, but I just kept going with it. Not being really strong in the kitchen, I just have found that I really love making them. However, there is no real rhyme or reason to baking....in my kitchen at least. There are so many components to baking if the chemistry is off just a little it will completely change the cake.
Hence the following cake:

Oh this little cake....look at you, you look so sweet and innocent all covered in your fondant & road. 

I had a request to do a "road" scene because this boy was turning two & loves trucks. So I started researching how to put a road in a cake. I thought the hard part was going to be cutting the road in the cake, but carving that was actually pretty painless. So then came the decorating. Normally I make my own fondant, but I thought covering the carved cake out of my fondant would be too hard. (Should not have doubted myself). So I pack up the girls, go to the store, buy the green fondant, get home, get it all rolled out & prepared, and lay it on the cake.......and as it starts to fold over the top to drape down the side of the cake....it starts cracking! UGH. This normally means the fondant is old & not really pliable anymore. So, deep breath, don't freak out, I rip the fondant off. I try to heat it in the microwave a little just to get it some elasticity. Roll it out & try again. AHHH same thing! So I have to rip if off the cake again! This time taking icing & some cake with it. This is why I don't like making cakes. haha :) So I give up for the night & seal it all up and I will work on it the next day. So I make a fresh batch of my fondant and am ready to try again.  Wouldn't you know it...everything goes perfect. Fondant lays out perfect, road goes on great, lines in the road are easy....yeah. Why do I doubt? I just wasted time & money. Sigh. Oh well. Looking at the cake now, on this side of it...seeing the finished product....I LOVE making cakes. During the process though, phew it is very stressful. 

So there you have it....a day in the life of making a cake! Sounds fun, right?? ;) 

The Face

This my friends, is the face of a sweet baby girl that slept through the night for the very 1st time!!  That's right, I said it! After 7 1/2 weeks, the Wilkinson's got their very first solid night of sleep as a family of four! I put Alivia to bed at 10:00pm and she started waking up around 5:45am! 7 hours and 45 minutes...yes I am counting. hahah :)
Needless to say Jeremy & I both woke up very refreshed! Oh lets hope we are on to something!! ♥

Faith & Deeds

It was interesting & not at all an accident, in my last post, the Lord was teaching me about learning to live in freedom. In a couple weeks I am going to be going through the study James, lead by Beth Moore. This is all about having freedom in Christ & what that looks like.

James is my favorite book in the Bible. Always has been. I think its because I think how he thinks. I just want to know how it works, what I should do, and then I want to know how to do it. I don't like this "it’s open for interpretation" kind of thing. I just want to know what to do & then I will do it. Kind of like a robot? Perhaps, but it works for me. :)
I went to training on this study last night, as I am facilitating one of the tables. I cannot tell you how excited I am to get these next 6-7weeks to dig deep into James. Wow. I have a feeling it is going to rock my little world.....not a feeling...I know it will.

This morning as I was just preparing by reading James again; as I intended to read the whole book, I was stopped by James 2:14-24.
The section title is Faith & Deeds. Here it is to read:

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20 You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless[a]? 21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”[b] and he was called God’s friend. 24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

I was going to continue reading…but I couldn't. I was stuck on the part about Abraham. (vs. 21-24). Abraham laid his son on an alter with the full intention he was to kill him, per God. As he raised the knife up to kill him, an angel of the Lord spoke & stopped him. You can read about it in Genesis 22:9-12. I just love this picture James gives us in vs. 22. It says his faith AND actions were working TOGETHER, and his FAITH was made complete by what he did. Then in v.24 it says...a person is justified by what he DOES and NOT by faith alone.

Sometimes I think we, I, get hung up on the “it’s not by works that we are saved” phrase and we stop there & kind of justify our no action at times. Because we know it’s not by what do that saves us, so sometimes I think we can take the approach of, I believe, that’s enough. However, when God increases our faith in a situation; it’s one thing for our faith to be changed & increased....but if we don't ACT or do anything with that faith that he gave us....then it is dead.
I knew this...but it’s one thing to KNOW it and another to LIVE it. Exactly what James is saying.

So for me, it would mean being obedient in the small things in my life..... A real struggle of mine is being self controlled in my eating. I could go on and on about this, but I will keep it short & to the point. This has always been a struggle. Vulnerable moment here: I was made fun of all the time; elementary school, junior high, and even in high school about my weight. So as you imagine this constant thing has loomed over me since I remember the first incident in 4th grade. It formed who I thought I was, it formed who I thought people thought I was, it formed how I lived my life! Having faith that God is who he said he was, but not really doing anything with that. Until one day 8 years ago, God grabbed a hold of my shoulders & shook me & said…THIS IS NOT WHO YOU ARE! HE defines me. Not the scale. Not people. He alone does. He has taught me a lot about myself & being controlled by food….carbs especially. There I said it. Seriously though, if I could live off carbs alone I would. That is all I would eat, but I know what it does to my body & I know that I am not living out my faith when I chose to eat bread instead of a vegetable. I KNOW THIS. So when I make those choices to give in to what I want (oh so yummy carbs)...then in essence the faith that he has given me & increased over the years....is dead. If I can't even put a small thing like being obedient to God in what I put in my mouth, then how can I be obedient in the big things? Hear me, this is not a post on weight; don’t miss the big picture of what he is trying to say here.

God is showing me that being obedient in the small things, like making a healthy choice...is one way of how to daily live in freedom. To take those moments where we can choose to obey or standstill, and MOVE into them....and that is when I/we will be justified by what I do and not just by our faith alone.

Truly living in freedom.

Our Chains ARE Gone!

I've been sitting on something for a few weeks now. Just thinking & trying to put it into words.
A couple weeks ago, I was able to make it to the morning session of the women's retreat that the women's ministry hosted from our church. Before the session began we were singing a song by Kari Jobe. Here are some of the Lyrics:

So faithful. So constant. 
So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.

You fill me. You see me. 
You know my every move
and You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. 
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never, 
forsake me in my weaknesses

I know that You have come now, 
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.

So patient, So gracious, 
So merciful and true…
So wonderful in all You do. 
You know me. You see me.
You know my every move. 
You love for me to sing to You

Lord, I know that You are for me.

Man just sitting & letting those words marinate in my heart does something to me. For the first time I can FULLY say...I DO know He is for me. Truly. I believe it! Please don't hear that its because I have what I've dreamt of, or that I am well & healthy, or for any other reason than....He TRULY is for me. He is so faithful. Absolutely constant; when I am a chaotic mess! I just love those words. They speak my heart completely.

So after that women's retreat a week or so later, I went to Thirsty. For those of you who don't know its a worship service we have on the 3rd Friday of every month at our church. One of the songs we sang there was one I've heard many many times, but this time it sank in...we sang, Amazing Grace. In light of what happened in my heart at the women's retreat the words to this song sank in like they never had before...read this:

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

Think about this...those words were written by the English poet & clergyman, John Newton. They came from his own personal experience. If you have time & are interested, read on it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazing_Grace
its truly fascinating!  Part of his story was, he was involved in the Atlantic slave trade back in 1748. So if you can imagine this man having many encounters, no doubt brutal, with these slaves that were in chains. Think about what he experienced & what he saw. Crazy.
The definition of a captive is: "someone held against their will." Can you just picture it? All these people chained up against their will.....or if you are a modern day thinker, think about those sweet kids being sold in slavery right now!
Then....one day....someone comes along & takes the key and sets them free. Takes their chains away! After all those years of torment & torture....They are FREE.....It just brings a whole new level to that song.

Then.
As I was singing that song the Lord gave me a picture. Of me. Ugh here we go.
Every time I give into that "one thing" that is so tempting, or the thing I KNOW I'm not supposed to do but do it, or that snappy response I give to my husband when I don't want to respond nicely, or the attitude I give coworkers...on and on.....in essence what I'm doing is putting my chains & shackles back on. Every time.
I just picture it like this: when I make those choices to disobey the Lord, even in the smallest of things, I'm taking those chains & put them back on my wrists & say...."No Lord being chained to this wall is SO much better than just a simple yes to you."

Are you kidding me?
This is how I live.  People! I am crazy. I mean truly crazy. Who does that?? Who would deliberately choose this??
What would it be like to live out life in such a way that we never put our chains & shackles back on??? To truly live in Freedom! I think sometimes its so hard for me to take the chains off because I don't know what it looks like to really be free. Like these struggles are just "what I  know" and "who I am." Or so the lies go that I have been told, and listened to.

2Timothy 2:26 says, "and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."

..."And then will come to their senses." Wow.
I am free. YOU are free. WE are free! I have no clue what that looks like on a daily basis, but I'm committed to find out! Lead on Lord!
♥