To the ends of the earth...

"For this is what the Lord has commanded us: 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.' " Acts 13:47

That's the point of all of this, right? To bring salvation to the ends of the earth? Its my point for existence, at least. Its why I do what I do, its why I love like I love, its why I respond the way I respond. Its what motivates me, its what gets me through the tough days.....or does it?

I want those statements to be true, and to a point, I do really believe they are true for me. But sadly I don't wake up everyday thinking about someones salvation. I don't let my motives or my responses be from a place of bringing salvation to someone. I do in the small little corners of my world, but to say it weaves through my whole reason for existence.....I don't breathe, eat, sleep that reality. Its in there, yes, but its not my every motivation.

Death makes you think a lot about things. What you would have done differently, what you didn't do, what you wish you would have done.....There have been a lot of people around me facing death here lately, my Dad included, and its got me thinking, "If that were me, if I were told you have less than a year to live....would I live out Acts 13:47 differently?"
You BET I WOULD!
I have a little life that comes to my house every week, and then goes home to his family, who doesn't know Christ. I have the opportunity to bring salvation...to the ends of the earth....to the ends of my earth. Have I? No. Yes, I've mentioned God and pointed things back to Him, but I've not been on my face before the Lord begging for their salvation. I haven't. I get so caught up in the frustration of the situation and how I think this little boy is not being treated fairly and how I think they are wrong in decisions they are making....and I haven't even stopped to bring salvation to my "ends of the earth."
*Punch in the gut*
If it were me facing death right now, I'd be on my knees before the Lord begging for the people in my life that I know don't know Him. I'd be very intentional about conversations with my high school students. I live life differently.
Death makes you think.

I am a part of a church that supports a group of people, who are raising up kids in the Christian faith, and the goal is for them to go back out and bring salvation to the "ends of the earth" or back to where they came from and spread the gospel. They were in need of a worship center, it would be the first of its kind in the area they are located! The project would take about $20,000 to build and in one weekend we raised $20,026 for this worship center to be built!!! Isn't that amazing!!!

Being a part of "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" in this way is an incredible feeling! I think though, yes its easy to give money to help build this worship center, but "bringing salvation to the ends of the earth" has a whole new meaning when you are in the muck and the mud of a situation. When your emotions are raw and you feel pain and hurt....to the ends of the earth, looks different. Feels different. Its harder, its messier. Sometimes I just want to check out and say "All done." I don't WANT to bring salvation to the ends of the earth today.
And then I'm thankful for grace. That He doesn't just leave us where we are, that he brings people, and His Word to sustain and encourage us. Bringing us back into focus, to REMEMBER....."this is what the Lord has commanded us......that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth."
And that IS the point.

A True Story....

Once there was a girl who only had two girls, she spoke girl, she loves everything girl....then a boy came along & shook everything up. One day they were at McDondald and shouting from the top of the playland the boy screamed to this unknowing girl...."my pants fell! My pants fell!!" Well sure enough his pants were still on, so she called for him to come down. To her naive self who only speaks girl she quickly realized as he waddles out of the playland.....he pooped his pants. So she walks him to the bathroom, with no paper towels and toilet paper that rips at the site of it, she did what any resourceful girl would do...she swished the pants out in the toilet. She told the boy to finish on the pot while she cleaned up more. Once the big chunks were off the pants, she used hand soap and the hand dryer to clean the rest of his shorts. Suddenly a worker walked in to offer assistance followed by an elderly woman holding her shoe. The girl looks confused as the woman said with disgust "Yah!! It's in my shoe too!" The girl was confused because she though she had walked quickly enough to the bathroom to go undetected. This was not the case. A patron of McDonalds was walking in to buy her lunch when she stepped in.....yes....the boys poop! Apparently some of the poop fell from the young boys pants as they walked to the bathroom. Even more mortified now she apologized and went back to the boy who was still in the stall. As she opens the stall door a sight that will remain imbedded in her mind for a long time awaited her. The boy managed to have residual poo on his buns and as he sat down it smeared all over his legs and the seat.   Oh the panic that set in the girls heart at that moment. With no resources she used all she knew to use and grabbed the shorts and started the cleaning process--again. She did the best she could for a girl with no experience in this area could. Sure she has a two and a four year old but not once has she encountered such a spectacle. With soaking wet pants she started walking out of the bathroom and again was greeted by a worker. This time questioning if she was went to BRCC and was in fact Jeremy Wilkinsons wife. With shaky voice she replied yes. The lady said "ohhhh! Yes! And I know your whole story." Looking over with affirmation of the young boy who's hand was gripping mine. She replied with embarrassment, "yes this is my world." They laughed understandable and went about their day. And so goes the story of the girl with two...now three children. 😊 

Nonfrantic Woman

"Her questions were honest and unassuming, her demeanor kind, her laugh delightfully loud, her paperwork messy, but her focus clear. She stayed focused on the task at hand. She wasn't encumbered with a thousand other things pulling at her. She didn't try to multitask too much. She wasn't a slave to her cell phone. She wasn't running late or running from one thing to the next. She said no to everything else pulling at her so she could say yes to the story."

"If you want people to use such great words to describe you, think about the decision you are making. How are they leading people to describe you?"

"Great descriptions are birthed from great decisions. The decisions we make, make the lives we live. If we want to live better, we've got to decide better. Yes and No. The two most powerful words."

Recently I was told, (by a good friend) I bicker with my husband. Ugh. Not a fun thing to hear....let me define it for you:

• bick·er
• argue: to argue in a bad-tempered way about something unimportant 

That sounds like a complement right? Ouch! I don't want to be known for bickering! Really?? Wow what a legacy Jan. Yikes. But it was a good reality check and one I'm trying to work through. I have been reading The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. The quotes come from that book; which is really worth the read by the way.
I just love what these quotes have to say and in regards to the Nonfrantic Woman. I have been reflecting on this bickering comment and I just love what she said in the first quote. I do all those stated things at different times...and the "isn't a slave to her phone" part....wow....never heard it referred to as "being a slave to your phone"....YIKES, but isn't that what happens?! I was reminded of my favorite verse Genesis 4:7. ....."sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it." It doesn't rule over me, I rule over it! And again, an example I do not want my kids seeing...a mom who is a slave to her phone?? No.

Next quote....if we want to live better, we've got to decide better.......so I have to decide to not bicker. I have to decide to not be a slave to my phone. I have to decide to eat well. I have to decide to exercise. I have to decide to press into what God has for me...even when I'm tired.
The Nonfrantic Woman.
I want to be her. I want to be poised, humble, unassuming, kind....nonfrantic. I want my words to count--every single one of them that comes from my lips. I want them to mean something, be filled with love, not be words that are just a clanging gong.

"I brought to each of those encounters my presence and my love, my Best Yes. And one Best Yes after another took me places I've have never had the privilege to go if I hadn't dared to look at what was right in front of me."

.....She brought her presence...something I am all too familiar with these days that I do not have. With the pace in which life rolls, and having 3 kids under the age of 5 in the house all day....you don't have much time to be "present," to be fully attentive.....you are multitasking to an insane degree, you are trying to keep afloat, dishes done, laundry done.....defusing fights.....and in that I have found that my phone provides a temporary escape....which in turn makes me a slave to it, as I long for that escape.....oh what a vicious little cycle.

Time to stop. Refocus. Put my eyes on Jesus, and as I become present with him; my frantic, bickering,  multitasking overloaded self, will become.....Nonfrantic.