Finding Peter

Well like my last blog post said...let's be like Peter....I've had just such an opportunity. My father passed away yesterday. If you've kept up with my blog at all you know he had MSA. I honestly thought, since we have been going through this "not knowing when he will pass" stage for 4 years...I thought I was prepared for it. I certainly was not. I have never cried like that ever. Like from the depths deep grieving. Oh I was and am so sad. I am so so glad he is celebrating with God, has a new body, and there is no more MSA. I guarantee he is wearing God out with questions though! Why did you do this, why did it have to be like this....haha I can remember him saying, I can't wait to meet and talk to Paul, Abraham and meet everyone. And now he gets to. I'm so glad there is no more suffering. Even in this God has answered so many of our prayers. My husband text me this & thought it was appropriate to focus on what we are thankful for.

(Our friend) Judson said I should write down all the places I have seen God move already and am grateful for ...so we don't forget:

-Joan didn't have to find him
-His death was an answer to Joan, Janna and Dan's prayer...so he didn't have to waste away
-He never had to go to the doctor to learn how to die...feeding tube...being flipped on a bed
-The man who found him & tried to resuscitate him came back to share with Joan Dans last mins
-Dan didn't die alone, choking
-He was coherent...and said "I need to go" to the man.
-That Jeremiah got a job back in Colorado
-That he got to spend the last 6 months with them
-That Dan and Amanda were here for dinner
-That Dan and Amanda's son Alex insisted on bringing over cookies they could decorate...distracted Ella and Liv while Janna cried
-Janna had a flight for Tuesday already so we weren't frantic to find a new one
-That's Jannas last memories of her dad aren't of irritation...or of cleaning up a mess...but of him making us egg sandwiches...& Christmas...throwing dad on concrete! (This was an accident!) ;)
-For friends who came over and prayed for us
-Flight miles from Luke and Steph
-Breakfast from Luke and Steph
- Luke and Steph paid for the ticket
-Joe offering his flight miles
-Found Janna a new ticket
-Drew called and said if money was and issue that some friends wanted to help
-That we both have jobs that tell us to take our time
-My mom and dad are willing to help us
-People that offer cars to take out there
-Steph taking Janna and Ella to the airport
-Kellie and Micheal took Liv so I can speak
-Staff and friends offer to take me to the airport
-People that just drop by

But most of all...Dan is in heaven with God right now celebrating and worshiping the Creator of the Universe...and  that there is no more pain...MSA...drugs.

And we will see him again. 

Oh I'm so glad. This is not a loss without hope. We have a hope in Jesus and he offers eternal life. 

So thankful for that. 

And I can't wait to hug my Mom and Brother.

So here is my moment; to find the Peter in me. This is my Peter moment when I am out on the water and the wind and waves are crashing around me. Am I going to get overwhelmed and let them consume me or am I going to keep my eyes on Jesus and keep walking?
Well Jesus the best I can--I'm keeping my eyes on you. Not sure how else I'd make it through this. 

Walk!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go hear Beth Moore speak at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City—to which I have never been. I love going new places, seeing new things, and if history can be thrown into the mix—I’m a happy happy girl! So little piece of history for you—did you know! Boardwalk hall has been home to the Miss America Pageant since 1921!!! How cool is that! I sat in the very place that, for 94 years, girls have walked that very stage in hopes of becoming the next Miss America! Really cool! I am a girlie girl so that resonates with me—for some of you, it won’t. ha! 

I just love history and I love learning about new things and reading facts…it fills me up. So while we were at the conference and digging into the Word; (More history; Love!) Beth Moore was speaking about 5 different scenes in the Bible, all of which included water. Water is so significant because many rights of passages throughout the Bible included water. I think it’s safe to suggest thatwater symbolizes movement. 

Movement is all throughout the Bible too—God was/is always moving us to new places with him, and our journeys should always involve movement. When we choose to halt and stop moving in our walks with Him that is not his will. 

Matthew 14:22-32 is all about movement. I'm sure many of us are familiar with this text, but let's allow the spirit to reveal something new as we read. 

In this passage we find Jesus with the 12 disciples. They were on the Sea of Galilee when Jesus made them get into a boat ahead of him then it says He went on a mountainside to pray. 

vs 24 says “the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.” Buffeted means, to strike against, or push repeatedly….so there was some weather happening. 

Then it goes on to say during the 4th watch of the night; which would be around 3-6a.m. Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. Lets just stop there for a minute and draw attention to two things so far: 

1. The disciples were on a boat a considerable ways away from the shore on the Sea of Galilee—that Jesus made them get into and he was nowhere to be seen. 

2. The time Jesus was walking on the water was around 3-6a.m…..I don’t know about you but at 3-6am I am sleeping! As I would assume they were too or at least trying to! Maybe not because of the weather, at which case I’m sure they were exhausted! 

So ok we have those two things to consider so they are out there on the boat, in the middle of the sea, to which Jesus put them on the boat, the wind and the waves are crashing around them….its the middle of the night….and then Jesus enters—walking.on the.water. Go with me here….he was WALKING on the water! People! This is like night of the living dead, Halloween, ghost stuff happening right now. I would be freaking OUT. Right!? Walking on the water, you are stressed from the weather, tired from the hour of day it is, and then you see JESUS WALKING on the water?! Are you kidding me?! Nuts. 

So lets keep reading….

vs. 26 “When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.” Well good! At least I am not the only one. “…it’s a ghost!, they said, and cried out in fear.” Um hello! Yes! Correct response! 

Vs. 27 “But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

This is significant because in Greek, when Jesus is saying “It is I.” He is referencing Exodus 3:14, when he is telling Moses “I am who I am.”  So Jesus was giving his name authority here. Saying it is I! 

Vs. 28 “Lord, if it is you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

At first glance this seems as if Peter is testing Jesus, but if you look in context what is really happening is, he was acknowledging the fact that Jesus is I AM. Then Jesus replies…..

Vs. 29 “Come.” He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.”

Come. That tiny little word, changes everything…...keeping in mind there are the other 11 disciples still on the boat; Peter was the only one bold enough to actually step out. And he too—WALKED on the WATER. Can you imagine being him?? Jesus just called you out, wind still whipping, imagine him taking that first step of raising his leg out on the water, then you have to take the other one out. Don’t you think he was like swishing his leg around thinking—ok when is my foot going to hit something solid….it does, then you have to stand up….on the water! THEN you actually start walking—toward Jesus. Is this hitting anyone else like it did me!? Holy Crow. What a moment. Lets keep going….

Vs. 30 “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Vs. 31a “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” I just love that it says immediately. Not he let him get all the way under then grabbed him….immediately! It shows such care and compassion that Jesus has for us. I love that. 

Vs. 31b “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

There are so many lessons we can learn from this passage, Peter’s bold faith when the others stayed in the boat (who weren’t wrong for doing so), we learn about the love and compassion of Jesus. 

I think for me the main thing was this: 

We are all on a boat and Jesus is inviting us out of that boat. We aren’t wrong if we stay in the boat, he loves us either way, but he is INVITING us into something deeper. A deeper trust. A deeper dependency. A deeper love. A deeper experience that will touch the height of the human existence…if we step out.

Our crisis of faith will be that we do not trust that He can use us. We believe it for everyone else….but ourselves. The disciples knew God was able; they just didn’t believe He could make THEM able. 

I am this exact way….I am your biggest fan and supporter. I will cheer you on in the faith like no one else. I’ll challenge you to keep stepping out of that boat, and keep moving forward, but for Him to use me in that powerful way….I doubt. Yes, there are times I become like Peter. I get the gumption to take the step out of the boat, but then….I take my eyes off Jesus and when I “come to” and realize I am standing on water, I get scared and overwhelmed and let the reality of the situation hit me, and I quickly jump back into that boat. 

Lets not be like that!—Lets learn from Peter. Lets keep our eyes on Him and STAY on the water!! 

Is God calling you to something you are afraid of? Is he asking you to step out of your boat? Won’t you? Won’t you be bold and brave like Peter? I know you will, and when you do…..Don’t you dare lose that gaze on Jesus! Don’t you look to the right or to the left, you keep your eyes on Him, and you WALK!

WALK! Boldly on that water! 

He IS with us!! 

Praying your heart is encouraged as much as mine was. xo