30

I turned 30 his month. Its been kind of scary and fun, but more scary. Things are different these days. Life is different. Twenties were so fun and wild and exciting and new, and now lately I feel like life has been....well...kind of boring. I guess. I don't know what I expect. I guess I just miss the wild days....not wild in a bad way, but just in a way that was friends all the time, fun all the time, staying up late, beginning this independent thing....starting a career. It was brand new and exciting. Now I kind of don't feel like i can let loose. I don't know why but I'm reserved. I don't like being reserved. I like being wild, and loud, and fun, and I love laughing, and I don't feel like I laugh these days. You know, those good gut wrenching laughs, where there was no care in the world, just having fun was your main goal. I loved those days. I need those days back.
I need to get back to that life. I think life is hard, and that things are heavy, and its taking its toll. I guess my next goals it to learn how to not let it take its toll on me. How do I move into this new phase with out missing the old? Thats hard.
I'm going to figure it out though. I have to.