So these past 5 years have been a journey for me we'll say....The Lord really has just grabbed hold of my heart in many areas. One of which I'd like to talk about with you now. About 7 years ago in Jan. of 2004, I was at a leadership conference. They were talking about how we should open all of our hearts to God & let him take control of all of us. Well...that has always been easy for me...sure God. I will go where you want, I will do what you want, you name it, I'm there. But the Lord had another plan for me. As i sat there praying that day to ask what areas I needed to hand over to him, he told me "give me your weight." I was like what? Hold on, you can have every other area but that one. I keep that. Then he said "you want to do anything for me, you say you'd do anything, go anywhere, but yet you won't even start with you? Give me ALL of you." At that moment I knew my life was not my own. I knew much pain & sacrifice was to follow. And five years later & 30lbs lighter, I am in a constant state of trying to honor God with ALL of me. Inside & out. Its hard I will say. I do NOT succeed at it everyday! sometimes I have whole weeks of messing up. but he is so gracious to forgive & pick me right back up. I love that about my Father. He is there and when we get tripped up he reaches back to give us a hand up. He truly is a gentleman!
I write all this today to say, this is a marker for me. I found an old picture. The old me. I am different now. I have been changed, and am still changing from the inside out. But in this whole process I never want to forget where I came from. I never what to forget what I looked like or how I felt. For me it is a huge reminder of how far the Lord has brought me.
So here is to pressing on, moving forward, pushing harder and harder into Christ & trying to live the life HE has for me!
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