Rest is ok!

I love when you type out a super long blog & then something happens & you thought you had it saved, but you didn't.
Love. that.

Anyway...What I was going to say is...

I have been in a rough spot lately, just trying to figure out this new life I have. I have been trying to learn how to balance stuff. Wanting to be a good wife, a good mother, continue being a servant to the girls in the high school room, and be a good friend, while working full time & trying to keeping a house in clutter free order.
Needless to say I'm having a rough go at it.
I just have been overwhelmed this past month & when I get overwhelmed I tend to back off. Seclude myself & just try to retreat...well that just helps me sink farther into the black abyss that is my life when I try to do things on my own.

I was given a book by Nan on Sunday. It is called: Nice Girls Don't Change the World, by Lynne Hybles.
I thought, oh that is such a nice thing! I had never heard of that book before, but I thought that was so nice of her. Well like the other 2 dozen books on my book shelf that I start & don't finish...yesterday was a slow day at work, so I thought I’d pick it up & read a few pages. I did not expect to love this book.
Well. I couldn't put it down! I read the whole thing!
It spoke to me right where I’m at. It is so what I needed to hear!

Last month I got a text from a friend & she said, “I am praying Psalms 62:5-6 over you, not sure why but I am.” It says: “Find rest O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
I didn’t think twice about it…was like hmmm that’s a nice verse…wonder why that’s for me? Then just went on my way.

Well it wasn’t until read this book that I realized what this verse was for. It was preparing me for the place I was going. He alone is not my rock, and Janna in herself IS shaken. I can’t do this on my own; I can’t be everything to everyone & still have ALL the house work done ALL the time. I am in a process of learning to let things go. It’s so hard for me to relax when there is chaos around me, and this is something that I think the Lord is trying to teach me….that yes, there is chaos & things do need cleaned & stuff does need to get done, but in the midst of it all… "I am your rock. I am your fortress & I will not be shaken. So hold on tight little one because it’s going to get bumpy.”

I read this expert from the book that just spoke right to my heart. This is God speaking to Lynne Hybles when she was at a time in her life when things were falling to pieces:

"I love you. Right here. Right now. I love you so much that I want you to rest. I want you to sit and receive the refreshment of my creation. I want you to listen to music. I want you to dance in the quietness of your bedroom. I want you to be like a child secure & free in the presence of an adorning parent. I want you to know that all those years you were working so hard to please me; I was trying to tell you to slow down. I saw you killing yourself from the inside out & I tried to stop you. But the many false voices in your head drown out the single true voice in your heart. I wasn't the one cracking the whip, the one telling you work harder, the one who made you feel guilty when you relaxed. I was the one who saw you, who knew you, who believed in you, who longed to restore your energy. I was the one trying to fluff up the pillow, tuck the blanket around your shoulders, and tell you it was time to rest. I was the one trying to love you."

So during these next few weeks I’m going to try to sit down, lean back, kick my feet up, and relax & enjoy Him. Even if it means the laundry & house work suffer & not feel guilty if I’m sitting down relaxing…..um…maybe. hahah :)
No, but just relearning how to do this thing & balance all that I have going on in my life all the while keeping Him the center. He alone is my fortress…I will not be shaken.

Merry Christmas Everyone! ♥