Wow...April & May are a blur...I know that there were a couple weeks that Jeremy was in Nepal, I know there was days spent at the pool, and I know that there were pictures taken of Ella...other than that...I can't believe its gone. We are moving into the 11th month of lil Miss Ella's life! I can't believe in a month & a 1/2 we'll be celebrating her 1st birthday! I remember this time last year, like it was yesterday...just waiting her arrival, wondering what she will will like, wondering if I'll be able to adjust to life with a baby. I must say it has been a bigger transition than I anticipated. I just didn't really understand all the emotions, feelings, the changes that take place during this transition. Before you have kids its like, I know I want that, I do! I do! but what you don't know is what comes with it....not bad stuff. I would never trade what I have now to go back to what I did have, but its just a transition.
I feel really sad I missed a huge service at Blue Ridge last night...and it was because we didn't have a sitter to be with Ella...which is totally fine, I enjoyed being home with her...but you don't think about little things like missing out on a 1st Wednesday service because a baby needs to get to bed. :)
I hope you don't think I'm complaining, because I so am not...its just a transition. one that I am embracing & getting used to. one that does have a lot of lonely times too, but one that, again, I wouldn't trade for anything.
Confused yet? hahah
So yeah, a word of encouragement for those who want a different stage of life than they currently have. Don't. Embrace the moments you are in, love the stage you are in, live every moment for the moment it is, because when it does change...you will look back & be like...wow...ok, new phase of life...here we go. (if that makes any sense).
Even in these transitions God has been so sweet to me, and walking me through it all...I feel sometimes like I'm walking with my hands out in front of me and I'm blind, and have no clue where I'm going or what I'm doing, but at the end of the day I can feel him holding my hand & leading me & that's all that matters.
So here is to another day of walking blindly & wondering if I'm the only one in the world that has felt like this with a baby...but I will keep talking & moving forward & just trust that I am doing the right thing.
1 comment:
You're not the only one who felt like that with a baby. I felt totally lost, exhausted, and lonely. It was a rough first year with each of our boys. It was a blur to me as well. Yes, transition is the key word. And with every milestone, we have to adapt in many ways. With God, our husband, and many friends we raise our children.
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