This is why....

 

This morning has presented yet another um...we'll call it....a test of my patience. :)
People being hateful around the holidays....man...its just so sad, isn't it? I mean being hateful at any point of the year is so crummy, but around the holidays is exceptionally crummy.

So today in my current "challenge" I am holding tight to Matthew 5:14-16. This is why we as followers are to respond well. To love big. To help when people hurt you. To stay consistent. SO THAT.....they might see & Glorify the Father.
Oh Lord, help me respond well...so that....

Matthew 5:14-16

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Jealousy

Jealousy is ugly.
I think jealousy is the one thing that hurts me the deepest. I just was told by someone that they are jealous of me. This is not the first time in my life that this has happened either. Each time it does happen though, a part of me just wants to curl up in a corner & weep. If I am allowed to hate something, I hate jealousy. I hate it. Deeply. It hurts so much, it destroys so much, it makes you just dark & icky. It consumes. It devastates. It ruins friendships. It divides. It hinders your walk with God. There is nothing good about it. I wish I could say when someone is jealous of me, that it is just no skin off my back and I keep on moving, but honestly it hurts me deeply. I feel a lot, too much I think, and so when times like this happen my heart is just hurt.
I don't know why people have to be jealous. I do know that there is that ugly little demon in each of us, but when we take a step outside of ourselves, we will see that its nothing but a focus of self.

Yikes, look what James says about it:

James 3:14-15 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

James 4:1-2 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

Rather...we should be loving, patient, kind, not envious or boastful, not arrogant or rude, and most of all, not insist on our own way.

1Corinthians 3:3-5 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful

God has been teaching me a lot these past few months, and I think the difference in this go around of being the recipient of someones jealousy, is I am handling it differently. Instead of getting my feelings so deeply hurt, or it totally crushing me, I am reminded that this is not about me. By letting this effect me & make me cower in a corner and weep, is making this all about me. Its not about me. Its a battle that is raging within this person, who has selfish ambition in their heart. They are not loving me, or being kind...and that's OK. How they act is not going to determine how I respond. I will pray for their heart, I will love them deeply, I will be kind, I will not be rude, and I will lay down my 'feelings' of hurt, and be the hands and feet of Jesus to them. Most of all I will keep my eyes focused on my Jesus, who is the best example of all of these things when my flesh so wants to act differently.

In perfect timing my friend Amanda posted this on her fb wall, what a comfort to my heart. ♥

Psalm 36:5-10 New International Version (NIV)

⁵ Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.

¹⁰ Continue your love to those who know you,
your righteousness to the upright in heart.

Learning from Barnabas

I have been learning a lot from Mr. Barnabas here lately.
The first mention in the Bible of Barnabas was in Acts 4:32-37. He was a man that made a huge impact on the people around him. His life was an encouragement to people. Barnabas real name was Joseph, but was given the nickname "Barnabas" as a product of his character. Barnabas means "Son of Encouragement." How cool is that to be known for your encouragement?? To be a blessing to people because of how you encourage & spur them on?? That would be incredible!

Barnabas also played a vital role in the early church. His ministry was a ministry that gave birth to others. Love this too. It wasn't about him or how he could gain the spot light, but it was about God & moving people closer to God through his encouragement & life. Again, wow, I love that.

This is also really cool to see, in Acts 9:19-30 we see one instance of Barnabas in action:
19 Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. 20 At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. 21 All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” 22 Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah.

23 After many days had gone by, there was a conspiracy among the Jews to kill him, 24 but Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watch on the city gates in order to kill him. 25 But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall.
26 When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews,[a] but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.

Before this account in the Bible, Saul (who later is named Paul) was, to put it mildly, really hateful toward Christ Followers before coming to Christ. I just love this picture of how Barnabas, knowing how mean Saul used to be, still put stock in Saul. He saw his potential & saw what others didn't see because of the Holy Spirit in him. He stood up for Saul when the other apostles did not want to welcome him in. They would have missed the vital ministry of Saul had it not been for Barnabas. In fact, who knows where Paul would have ended it up had it not been for Barnabas & his encouragement of him.

Barnabas life spoke more than his words.
Lets repeat that.
Barnabas life spoke more than his words. wow. This knocks me on my knees.

Later in Acts (Acts 15:36-40) we see that Saul & Barnabas had a parting of ways because kind of the same situation that Paul was in. Barnabas wanted to take (John) Mark on their missionary journey but Paul (Saul), did not think it was wise to take him because for unknown reason Mark had deserted them earlier in Pamphylia. But in true Barnabas fashion, he stuck up for (John) Mark & stood with him. Saul was too impatient to see the potential in Mark & walk with him to maturity. But not Barnabas. He walked with him & encouraged him.

Barnabas was drawn to people he could encourage & he was vital to the body of Christ. His focus was on what God had called him to do. Barnabas at different times with Paul & Mark kept these two men going in their ministry when either might have failed. The Bible talks little about Barnabas preaching & teaching ability, but speaks volumes about his character.

By making himself available to touch one man, Barnabas was having an impact on the wider body of Christ. He brought the calling out of Saul. Paul's ministry was a product of Barnabas faithfulness and encouragement.
What a cool guy! I can't wait to meet him one day.

19 Little Days

There are 19 little working days that I have left until I officially go part time.
Nine.teen. days!
There really are actually 41 days left total...but I only have to work 19 of those due to the holiday shutdown at my work, and Fridays off.
WOW.
That is like 2 weeks & 5 days.
I feel like my life can actually begin again now that I will be freed up to get involved in a ministry again! I'm SO thankful! I've been learning so much these past few months too, I am excited to see what plans God has with it.
Knees to the earth, hands open wide, I'm ready!
Here is to 19 little days!!

Stirring

Ever have those times when God is doing something in your life? Those times when you haven't recieved all of the puzzle pieces yet but he is laying down one at a time; giving you gimpse of what it could look like? Thats where I'm at right now. I feel like I am on the cusp of something that He's doing. I can feel it coming, I can see parts of it, but not the whole thing. Its exciting. And completely terrifying. But I trust it because its from him.