Stirring

Ever have those times when God is doing something in your life? Those times when you haven't recieved all of the puzzle pieces yet but he is laying down one at a time; giving you gimpse of what it could look like? Thats where I'm at right now. I feel like I am on the cusp of something that He's doing. I can feel it coming, I can see parts of it, but not the whole thing. Its exciting. And completely terrifying. But I trust it because its from him.

Almost December!

Woah! Have 20 days gone by since my last post? Sheesh! I mean really can we put the brakes on things for just a second. Slow down. Take a deep breath. Relax. Ahhh rest.
Phew. This month has been nutty.
Somethings the Wilkinson's have been up to:

*I made my last cake for 2012 the weekend of Nov. 3rd. What a mess. haha! Note to self, when you bake a cake with fondant then travel up to the mountains the altitude makes the fondant expand thus making the sides of your cake bulge with air pockets! ugh. thankfully it was for a friend & they were very gracious. wow. Reason 999,999 why I won't open my own cake shop. ha!

*We had court for the adoption on Nov. 9th. The birth mother & father have officially terminated their rights. They did have 7 days to petition the court in writing if they did want custody back...thankfully that didn't happen. :)
So now we start our home study visits. Over the course of the next six months we will have 3 different visits with our social worker, then after all that paper work has been turned in & handed over to court, our lawyer sends it to circuit court & if all goes well we can officially change Alivias birth certificate & social security card! YAY! Right now we do have legal custody, but we don't "officially" have it until the paperwork is finished. confusing, yes?

*Went to funeral for one my the high school girls I used to disciple. That was not fun.

*Then last week was Thanksgiving week....oh my...can we rewind & do that week over please? Phew. Here is the short list of what happened:
We had planned to go on a mini vacation over Thanksgiving with some friends, and the day before my friend called & said her son had signs of having hand, foot & mouth disease, but wasn't showing all the signs of it. She wasn't sure that he really had it, but it was up to us to make the call on whether we still came or not. So cocky me was like oh yeah, we're good! I'm sure its nothing.....I'll come back to that part. So we got there & the place was so nice! it really was awesome, but we had to share a room with Ella & she isn't' used to us being in the room with her, so she was up talking till 1 both nights, we could not get her to stop talking. :( So that was awful not getting sleep.  On Wednesday we went to the park & Ella got scared on one part & there was a boy behind her & she freaked out & wanted down but b/c he was blocking her she took her hand & pushed his face till he nearly fell :( that was awful. then Friday we went to the big indoor water park & Jeremy & I rode a ride together & when we landed his knee clocked me in the back of the head & so when I stood up I was holding my head saying ouch...so then the life guard came over & was like does your head hurt, and I was like yes it hurts! I just got hit in my head! So because I told her it hurt, she had to administer all this life guard stuff because I was showing signs of a concussion. She immediately grabbed my head & neck & wouldn't let me go. Next thing I know they blew this loud air horn & they stopped all the rides in the WHOLE place because of this. THEN they were going to place me on a back board!!! I was like I AM FINE! Really! then proceeded to do some dance moves proving I was OK. SO THEN like 10 other life guards came around & then they brought a GURNEY out!!! I was like OH NO!! I am NOT going out on a gurney! I am fine! UGH! I was like JEREMY!! Looking to him to help me out of this awfully embarrassing mess! He said Jan you can refuse service...I said to him GET ME OUT OF HERE! It was so awful. people were starring ugh. I was like I AM FINE, they were like ma'am, ma'am we have to do this it our policy. (Which I totally do respect, and understand why they do it...I was just really OK) So finally Jeremy just pulled me away & we walked away saying we refuse to have this happen. It was time for the kids to nap anyway so we just left the park all together. WOW. What an experience. We had planned to leave Friday night so we stuck to that plan. THEN Saturday morning Ella starts to run 103.6 temperature! poor girl, then the rash starts all over her body :( She caught hand & foot. So I am trying to get her to feel better. I am holding her a lot & stuff because she is super needy, which any Mother would do. So then Sunday afternoon I start running a fever! Mine got up to 101.6. and I now have blisters from hand & foot in my throat, which kills by the way! :( So I stayed home from work yesterday because I still had a fever. So needless to say, we just should have stayed home. :( We wouldn't have had the park fiasco, water park debacle, & Ella & I wouldn't have gotten sick. :(
hahah its funny now looking back at all that happened, but wow....could have used a week without all that.

*Sunday we had the opportunity to meet our birth mothers, Mother. Even though we were all feeling under the weather, we still wanted to give her the chance to meet Alivia. So they came over for a 1/2 hour or so, and that was nice. I got a picture, which will be neat to put in Alivias scrapbook. :)

So here we are today, with sore throat still in tact but fever gone, looking at the date! Nov. 27th! WOW. What a month. Its definitely had highs & lows! But all in all I look at my life & it is a good good life. Its a fun life! God has been so sweet to this Wilkinson family, hand, foot & mouth disease and all! ha! :)

We Have a Responsibility

I am not one to get caught up in politics, or even be a front runner in shouting my opinion on stuff like this, but I just felt the need to shout just a little bit. Not yell, but shout a little louder than normal.
Which ever way you voted, one thing is true, President Obama will be in office another four years. period. The people voted, and he won.
Like it or not.
That is the beauty of our freedom here in America, we can have a choice and we can have an opinion....even if the opinion doesn't line up with what you specifically believe.

As a Christ Followers I believe we have a responsibility though.
That responsibility is to stand up, shake off the fact that your vote didn't win (if you voted for Romney), and TRUST that ultimately GOD is the one who is in control. period.

Do we honestly (speaking to followers of Christ) do we honestly believe that God would allow a person to be in control of our nation, if he forbid it? No. Granted....do I think every leader is a good & wise leader? No. However the below article I included in this post has some really great things in it.
One being straight from Romans 13: 1-2 "Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. ² So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished."
No authority except from God: God appoints a nation’s leaders, but not always to bless the people. Sometimes it is to judge the people or to ripen the nation for judgment.

So Christ Follower...here is your responsibility. To submit to the authority that God has appointed. To pray for our country to be humbled & moved by Gods spirit. To be an EXAMPLE of love to people you don't agree with. To let Gods love shine brightly through you SO THAT His name can be made greater. This is just the beginning my friends. We KNOW the ending, lets finish the race well. Adversity or not. Persecution or not. Leader we wanted or not. Lets love well, be kind, considerate, proving that his Church is different & doesn't jump in with the world.

That is my two sense. I really do pray for those that call ourselves Christians. Its up to us to be His hands and feet.


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Romans 13 - A Christian’s Obligation to Government


A. The Christian and government.

1. (1-2) Government's legitimate authority and the Christian’s response.
Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.

a. Subject to the governing authorities: The connection between Romans 12 and Romans 13 is clear. If the Christian is not to seek personal vengeance, it does not take away the government's authority to punish wrongdoers.

b. Every soul certainly includes Christians. Paul simply says that we should be subject to the governing authorities. This was in contrast to groups of zealous Jews in that day who recognized no king but God and paid taxes to no one but God.

c. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God: We subject ourselves to governing authorities because they are appointed by God and serve a purpose in His plan.

i. No authority except from God: God appoints a nation’s leaders, but not always to bless the people. Sometimes it is to judge the people or to ripen the nation for judgment.

ii. We remember that Paul wrote this during the reign of the Roman Empire. It was no democracy, and no special friend to Christians - yet he still saw their legitimate authority.

iii. “Remember your Savior suffered under Pontius Pilate, one of the worst Roman governors Judea ever had; and Paul under Nero, the worst Roman Emperor. And neither our Lord nor His Apostle denied or reviled the ‘authority!’” (Newell)

d. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God: Since governments have authority from God, we are bound to obey them - unless, of course, they order us to do something in contradiction to God’s law. Then, we are commanded to obey God before man (as in Acts 4:19).

e. Those who resist will bring judgment on themselves: God uses governing authorities as a check upon man’s sinful desires and tendencies. Government can be an effective tool in resisting the effects of man’s fallenness.

2. (3-4) The job of government: to punish and deter evildoers.
For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.

a. Do what is good, and you will have praise: Paul’s idea is that Christians should be the best citizens of all. Even though they are loyal to God before they are loyal to the state Christians are good citizens because they are honest, give no trouble to the state, pay their taxes, and - most importantly - pray for the state and the rulers.

b. He is God's minister: Paul describes government officials as God’s minister. They have a ministry in the plan and administration of God, just as much as church leaders do.

i. If the state’s rulers are God’s minister (servant), they should remember that they are only servants, and not gods themselves.

c. An avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil: It is through the just punishment of evil that government serves its function in God’s plan of holding man’s sinful tendencies in check. When a government fails to do this consistently, it opens itself up to God’s judgment and correction.

d. He does not bear the sword in vain: The sword is a reference to capital punishment. In the Roman Empire, criminals were typically executed by beheading with a sword (crucifixion was reserved for the worst criminals of the lowest classes). Paul, speaking by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, has no doubt that the state has the legitimate authority to execute criminals.

3. (5-7) The Christian’s responsibility towards government.
Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.

a. Therefore you must be subject: We must be subject to government; not only because we fear punishment, but because we know it is right before God to do so.

i. For conscience sake: Christian obedience to the state is never blind - it obeys with the eyes of conscience wide open.

b. You also pay taxes . . . Render therefore to all their due: We are also to pay the taxes due from us, because there is a sense in which we support God’s work when we do so.

i. By implication, Romans 13:6 also says that the taxes collected are to be used by government to get the job done of restraining evil and keeping an orderly society - not to enrich the government officials themselves.

c. Taxes . . . customs . . . fear . . . honor: We are to give to the state the money, honor, and proper reverence which are due to the state, all the while reserving our right to give to God that which is due to God alone. (Matthew 22:21)

d. In light of this, is rebellion against government ever justified? If a citizen has a choice between two governments, it is right to choose and to promote the one that is most legitimate in God’s eyes - the one which will best fulfill God’s purpose for governments.

i. As well, in a democracy, we must understand that there is a sense in which we are the government, and should not hesitate to help “govern” our democracy through our participation in the democratic process.

B. The Christian’s obligation to his neighbors.

1. (8-10) The obligation to love.
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

a. Owe no one anything except to love one another: On a personal level, the only “debt” we are to carry is the “debt” to love one another - this is a perpetual obligation we carry both before God and each other.

i. Some take this as a command to never borrow, but Jesus permitted borrowing in passages like Matthew 5:42. That isn’t the sense of what Paul is saying here, though the Scriptures do remind us of the danger and obligations of borrowing (Proverbs 22:7).

ii. “We may pay our taxes and be quit. We may give respect and honor where they are due and have no further obligation. But we can never say, ‘I have done all the loving I need to do.’ Love then is a permanent obligation, a debt impossible to discharge.” (Morris)

b. You shall love your neighbor as yourself: Paul echoes Jesus’ words as recorded in Matthew 22:36-40. This is one of the two commands upon which hang all the Law and the Prophets.

i. Love your neighbor means to love the people you actually meet with and deal with every day. It is easy for us to love in the theoretical and the abstract, but God demands that we love real people.

ii. "No man can compass the ends of life by drawing a little line around himself upon the ground. No man can fulfill his calling as a Christian by seeking the welfare of his wife and family only, for these are only a sort of greater self." (Spurgeon)

c. Love is the fulfillment of the law: It is easy to do all the right religious “things” but to neglect love. Our love is the true measure of our obedience to God.

2. (11-14) The urgency to love and walk right with God.
And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

a. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: Because we know the danger of the times and we anticipate the soon return of Jesus, we should be all the more energetic and committed to a right walk with God instead of a sleep-walk with God.

I. How important it is to awake out of sleep! We can do many Christian things and essentially be asleep towards God. What a difference it makes when we are awake!
• We can speak when we are asleep

• We can hear when we are asleep

• We can walk when we are asleep

• We can sing when we are asleep

• We can think when we are asleep

b. Cast off the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light: The illustration is from taking off and putting on clothes. When you get dressed every day, you dress appropriately to who you are and what you plan to do. Therefore, everyday, put on the Lord Jesus Christ!

i. We must cast off before we can put on. "The rags of sin must come off if we put on the robe of Christ. There must be a taking away of the love of sin, there must be a renouncing of the practices and habits of sin, or else a man cannot be a, Christian. It will be an idle attempt to try and wear religion as a sort of celestial overall over the top of old sins." (Spurgeon)

c. The works of darkness are characterized as revelry and drunkenness, licentiousness and lewdness, strife and envy. These are not appropriate for Christians who have come out of the night into God’s light.

i. The idea behind the word for licentiousness is “the desire for a forbidden bed.” It describes the person who sets no value on sexual purity and fidelity.

ii. Lewdness has the idea of a man who is lost to shame. They no longer care what people think and flaunt their sin openly, even proudly.

d. The armor of light is related to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. When we put on Christ, we put on all the armor of God and are equipped to both defend and attack.

i. “Putting on Christ is a strong and vivid metaphor. It means more than put on the character of the Lord Jesus Christ, signifying rather Let Jesus Christ Himself be the armor that you wear.” (Morris)

e. Yet, we are still called to make no provision for the flesh. We have a work to do in walking properly, as in the day - it isn’t as if Jesus does it for us as we sit back; instead, He does it through us as we willingly and actively partner with Him.

f. God used this passage to show Augustine, the great theologian of the early church, that he really could live the Christian life as empowered by the Holy Spirit - he just had to do it. And so do we.

Sad

For a week my heart as been sad. Just plain sad. From my previous post, my friend Avery was in a bad wreck last Saturday. It has been a week of just pure stress. There were reports she was doing good, then reports she had taken a turn for the worse, then reports that she was doing good again, breathing on her own, then reports she wasn't doing good. These past 72 hours have been the worst for her. With her injuries being so severe, sepsis crept in & gangrene started to set in. Her family & the doctors made the call & took her off all of the machines, and within an hour, she was gone.
My sweet Avery, my heart breaks & will miss you terribly. You were loved by so many. I love you.

Susan Avery Campbell

May 20, 1993 - November 5, 2012

Heavy heart

My heart is sad.
Sunday afternoon I was preparing to prep some cakes I am doing this week. I had just put the girls down for nap, and was so excited for them to wake up because I was going to take them to their (and mine) first ever "trunk or treat" night.
Then I got the text: Avery got in a bad wreck, she is on life support, and her boyfriend who was in the wreck with her didn't make it.
Not something you want to read.

Who is Avery? Avery was a girl I was discipling when she was in high school. Four years ago or so I was serving in the high school room and when I met her when she was 14, almost 15. She came to Jeremy broken & hurting & needing help, and so after he prayed with her he suggested she talk with me. So we met & there was an instant connection. So that is where our journey started, and we walked though a lot together. About 6months into our friendship she accepted Christ. I was so excited for her & the possibilities that were in front of her. I poured my heart into her. We hung out together, we did life, we did Bible study, and we even talked about how to combat what was to come. Sophomore & Junior year in high school...those dreaded years. Like with me, the pressures of high school life took over until slowly & slowly she pulled away. We got together about two years ago, but after that it was just a text every 6 months or so. I saw her about 9 months ago at her job. It was just a quick hello, but it was still my Avery.

So after getting the text I immediately canceled all other plans & headed up to UVA with a few others. I don't know what the plan was when we got there. I did expect to get to see her I suppose...but as we arrived they restricted all but close family to see her. I should not be surprised, but I was really sad. I just wanted to see her, hold her hand, and tell her I was here for here, and most importantly God was too.
I'm not going to sugar coat this...she is not expected to make it. She was thrown 70 feet from the car, crushed pelvis, ruptured spleen, liver was severed, and there was bleeding in her brain. She was taken to emergency surgery this morning at 5am because the inter cranial pressure spiked & they had to relieve it. Doctors said to prepare, as there is a chance she might not make it.
(Just got an update)
Avery made it though surgery, they had some problems ventilating her, but she made it & will be back in her room in an hour or so.

I don't even know how what to say. I don't know how to pray, I just know my heart is sad & breaking. For her, for her family, and for her boyfriends family. You just never picture things like this happening, and then when they do its just like you stand back & let the chips fall as they may. Above all else, God is still God & he still reigns on high. He is alive & active and in this...what ever outcome.

Please pray with me that His will be done.
Thank you.
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Campbell Co., VA - State Police say a wreck Saturday night in the 700 block of Candlers Mountain Road in Campbell County killed a man and severely injured a woman. They say the wreck happened just before 9 p.m.

Neighbors say this area of Candlers Mountain Road is known for accidents, the man who lives on the property where the accident occurred, says in the 11 years he's lived there, he has seen 11 accidents. But he says none were as tragic as the one last night.
"After they hit the Pine tree and took that down, it disintegrated the vehicle," said John Jenkins, who heard the wreck happen in front of his house.
Jenkins says the sounds he heard were terrifying, as the car wrecked in his front yard.
"We went down and started checking the area to see if anybody was hurt, and we found one person thrown out and we were trying to take care of her," said Jenkins.
That person was 19-year-old Susan Avery Campbell. She was airlifted from a nearby field, and is currently undergoing treatment at UVA Medical Center.
Once Campbell was found, Jenkins and his wife, Sharon, say they helped officials look for her personal belongings. That's when they found 21-year-old Chad Marlowe.
"We started looking for her pocketbook, and that's when me and my daughter's boyfriend ran into him," said Sharon Jenkins.
State Police say Marlowe died at the scene; they say neither was wearing a seat belt.
"And then to know he was a friend of my sons' I mean, he has been to my house several times and he had a lot of friends," said Sharon Jenkins.
Darlene Hensley knew Marlowe from high school. They both went to Heritage High School.
"He made everybody smile, all of his friends loved him because he was always fun loving and care free," said Hensley.
As for Jenkins, he just wishes people driving in the neighborhood, would be more careful.
"The big thing here is everybody out there please wear your seatbelt, we've had that helicopter land in the field way too many times," said John Jenkins.
State police aren't saying whether or not speed was a factor in this wreck, but neighbors do say that the speed limit on this road was recently lowered from 55 miles per hour to 45.
The crash is under investigation.

Food Addict?

Every quarter or so, my work will do these things called "Lunch & Learn." Its where they provide you a healthy lunch & then talk to you about something regarding health. Today topic was: Food & your Mood.
It was talking about how much of what we eat really does change & alter the chemicals in our bodies to eventually change our moods. Good or bad. It was just really intreging and captured my attention.

This is a quiz you can take to see if you are a food addict.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/20/quiz-are-you-addicted-to-food/

Then I found this article within that article...which is just super interesting so I thought I would share! (Here is the link http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/20/craving-an-ice-cream-fix/ or you can read it below).

The notion that food can be addictive has been debated for some time and largely rejected by both nutrition and addiction researchers. But this spring, the secretary of health, Kathleen Sebelius, said that for some, obesity is “an addiction like smoking.” One month earlier, Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, gave a lecture at Rockefeller University, making the case that food and drug addictions have much in common, particularly in the way that both disrupt the parts of the brain involved in pleasure and self-control.
Princeton University and University of Florida researchers have found that sugar-binging rats show signs of opiatelike withdrawal when their sugar is taken away — including chattering teeth, tremoring forepaws and the shakes. When the rats were allowed to resume eating sugar two weeks later, they pressed the food lever so frantically that they consumed 23 percent more than before. Scientists in California and Italy last year reported that the digestive systems of rats on a fatty liquid diet began producing endocannabinoids, chemicals similar to those produced by marijuana use.
Earlier this year, scientists at the Oregon Research Institute conducted brain-scan studies on children who looked at pictures of chocolate milkshakes and later consumed shakes. Their findings suggest that just as drug abusers and alcoholics need increasingly larger doses over time, children who are regular ice-cream eaters may require more and more ice cream for the reward centers of their brains to indicate that they are satisfied.
Dr. Pamela Peeke, assistant professor at the University of Maryland and author of “The Hunger Fix,” says that meditation and exercise can help engage the brain to overcome food addiction. As a heroin user might rely on methadone to alleviate withdrawal, food addicts, she says, should seek alternatives that still give pleasure — a fruit smoothie, for example, instead of ice cream.
Food addiction seems to be linked to the types of foods we’re consuming. Dr. Kelly D. Brownell, director of Yale’s Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity, notes that the human body is biologically adapted to deal with foods found in nature, not processed foods.
“We don’t abuse lettuce, turnips and oranges,” says Dr. Brownell, co-editor of the new book “Food and Addiction.” “But when a highly processed food is eaten, the body may go haywire. Nobody abuses corn as far as I know, but when you process it into Cheetos, what happens?”
Dr. David A. Kessler, the former F.D.A. commissioner, described these products as “hyperpalatable” foods created to tantalize our taste buds by focusing on the right combination of salty, sweet and fatty ingredients along with “mouth-feel.”
Dr. Brownell says that the brain science should lead us to question how food companies are manipulating their products to get us hooked. “With these foods, personal will and good judgment get overridden. People want these foods, dream about these foods, crave them.”

The Beat Goes On

Life has been busy.
The really hard part about life being so busy, is that I sit behind a desk from 7am until 4:30pm wasting away wishing, waiting until 4:30pm rolls around so I can actually live life that day.
Something has to give.
I think that is why I text & email so much, because I'm starving for life. Someone, please email me, text me, talk to me, connect with me so I feel apart of something & not just waisting away each and every day.
Life is lonely behind this desk.
Ever have those moments where there is something that you can see yourself doing, but the current place you are in does not make this thing you see yourself doing possible? That's kind of where I'm at. 
But when I take a deep breath & trust that there is light at the end of this tunnel I'm sitting in...I rest.
I know that He is for me, I know that He will never forsake me in my weakness, and I know that He will come down...even if to write upon my heart...to remind me....yes I am quoting a song. :) But I mean these words. They are beautiful & bring me rest.
And  when I rest....this desk doesn't seem so lonely after all.