December 31, 2014 as I was sitting in my parents living room watching the ball drop with my Dad, had I known what 2015 would have had for us, I probably wouldn’t have stepped into year 2015. To say we have had a roller coaster of a ride is putting it mildly. Its been more like we have been in a tornado of events; spinning, twisting us, up and down, around, all over. Some good, some bad, but each moment that has it come, will leave a mark on us forever. 2015 changed us, and forever has left its mark in its wake.
January started with, what I now know, as the last hug I will ever have with my Dad this side of eternity, and ended with a beautiful little boy Carter being born, that I call my nephew.
February brought lots of joy, got to celebrate a lot of my friends birthdays, and one of the greatest snowfalls Lynchburg has seen in 15 years. It felt like Colorado snow!
Then March showed up. With the twister like affects, I went on a weekend trip to Jersey with a friend to hear Beth Moore speak on what I again now know, as a lifeline to get me through the weeks that were ahead. Just six days after the conference, I got the call that I had been dreading. My father passed away. Before March 20, 2015 I had no context for grief. I had no idea what deep deep sadness was, I now do. The juxtaposition of grief and hope coexisting is not explainable outside of a relationship with Christ, but they can and do coexist.
April came and went with some normalcy.
May brought with it a much needed adult weekend getaway with friends to the beach. Oh May how I needed you. Little did I know what June would have in store. We also saw our oldest daughter graduate from preschool—kindergarten was next! Eek.
June came with some really cool spiritual things that God had been moving in the hearts of many around our church. A gathering of 20 men formed to seek and ask God what the next step of our church was to be. We threw in this month Ella’s first ever hair cut at a salon, and then by mid-month our friends from last summer moved in again with us. This time we had filed for custody, as did their aunt.
July,brought my girls turning 5 & 3! And an opportunity to lead Brooklyn to Christ! What a wonderful day July 1 was! The month ended with a court hearing that would give us temporary custody of Brock and Brooklyn until Nov. 4th, the next court date. Then July turned into….
August. Oh August. You came in with a roaring vengeance didn’t you? This month was so hard. Not only was I preparing to get my first born into her first year of kindergarten, I also now had a 4th grader to register/get ready for school, and two kids in Pre-k! On top of all of those things I was asked to face my biggest fear: public speaking. Oh I could go on and on with how scary and stressful this was. My body did not respond well, lets just say that. BUT with the help of the Holy Spirit I got through it and I do believe God was honored and glorified, and there is no other way I would want to finish out a month.
In September my little Livi started Preschool. She did so well, and loves going! We could not be more thankful. September also brought some fun! Getting in a routine of having the kids in school and we had a visit from Grandma & Grandpa Wilkinson.
October, you were fun with all your orange, festivals, and pumpkins! You however brought with you another opportunity to face my biggest fear. I can tell you this time was not easier than the last—still just as scary.
November. November, ugh November. The month started out at a family dinner out to a play land to eat dinner and let the girls play, and ended with us in the MedExpress place getting 4 staples put in Alivia’s cracked open head. Two days later we went to court for the final hearing of custody between us and B&B’s aunt….and like we had anticipated, because she was biological family, she was awarded custody. What we had not prepared ourselves for was them being removed from our home that night! That hurt a lot, not getting one last night with them and properly getting to say goodbye. But all in all we prayed that God’s will be done. If those kids were supposed to permanently end up in our home, I can tell you—they would have ended up in our home. So all we can do is pray that the 5 months we had them in our home made a deep enough mark on them for the Kingdom! The first part of November my mother took a trip with her church to Isreal. That was a dream her and my dad had…and well he went with her, in a way. A part of his ashes now reside on the banks of the Sea of Galilee. She got you there in one form or fashion, dad. Although, I’m sure you are seeing MUCH greater sites then we ever could here. Remember how I said earlier that this year changed us? Marked us in a way that other years haven’t? Nov. 24th was one of those days. We got a call from our longtime friends that their two year old son had passed away in his sleep. I wish my words on this page could adequately describe all that I felt. Its not describable what we experienced as we stood with them praying over their son and touching him as the funeral home walked him out of the house. That day was filled with deep deep sorrow. Sorrow has a new meaning to me now that I have felt the sting of death. It hurts more than anything I have ever felt. But yet again in the midst of the sorrow was a peace that truly passes ALL understanding. Our God is good. He is in control, and he turns chaos and panic into peace and worship. Its unlike anything. My God is amazing. Walking out the last two weeks of November with our friends was hard, physically, mentally, and deeply emotional. Through it though, I found moments to thank God for the fact that I didn’t have to juggle 4 kids in order to help my friends. I was able to be fully available and fully present for them. That was a gift and I’m so thankful.
And just like that December has arrived. We took a mini vacation with our friends who had just lost their son and another family to Busch Gardens Christmas Town. I can’t tell you how wonderful our time was. I was so thankful to have made happy memories with our friends this side of losing their son. That weekend was what we needed, what we all needed. As I sit here at my desk on my last work day of 2015, and think about the two weeks I have off, I become so filled with gratitude. Its been a long haul to get to this point in 2015, and I am glad I am sitting here. Its been a crazy hard year, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But all in all I look back and can see how God’s hand was in every step of every month, leading, preparing, and guiding me through it. There is no other way I would want a year spent.
So here’s to you Mr. 2016! I’m ready for ya!
