Dazed

So as you read yesterday we have started this process of adoption. We have an appointment with Bethany Christian Services on Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009 to find out more information on this process.
I just am in a daze at what God is doing in my life & the lives around me! Its amazing. I wanted to have you read an email between a friend of mine & me, I can't put it into words the right way so I thought I'd share the email. (to catch the reader up, I am going through a Beth Moore study on the book of Esther.) Here it is:
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Me: I can't even tell you how much this Esther study is blowing my mind! Like every Tuesday she speaks specifically on something that I've gone through the day or week before! its kinda crazy!

Friend: that is so cool :) we went through a Beth Moore study before called Believing God... it was incredible, same thing though.. just always speaking where you're at... it was great. You sound even less stressed just being at work... :) :)

Me: what do you mean sound less stressed just being at work? like I sound more relaxed today?
Listen to this! It is so cool though I have to tell you. So last like Monday we got the packet from Bethany about our apt on 12/15 & I started reading everything & fear was just taking over like where are we going to get the money, how is all this going to come together etc etc.
So last Tuesday night the lesson was on Fear! haha She was saying how this is a call to be brave & trust that he will take care of your situation! And how courage comes from a heart that is convinced it is Loved. how amazing right??
well then this past weekend/Monday I was just thinking & thinking & thinking about when will this all happen? I wonder what it will be like I wonder when we'll get a baby..etc etc.
Then last night!!! it was about TIMING!! WOW right!!?! hahah
She was talking about Isa. 40:31 how it says those who WAIT upon the LORD will renew their strength....it doesn't say those who wait on the "thing" to come to fruition..but those who wait on the Lord....and just That in your wait time God is not inactive, he is preparing things to align the way they should. And how all strength will be gone if you are waiting on the "the thing". Wait on the Lord not on the event!!!
ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE!!! He is blowing my mind through this process!!! wow. I'm in a daze.

Friend: What I mean is, you are so blown away by what God is doing in your life right now, and you are so focused on Him, that it seems like you aren't even letting the things that usually go on at work bother you (if there are still things going on) I just see you letting go more and more of control b/c you realize that God has had this in His control the whole time :) and he's just speaking to you week by week, knowing what emotions and things you are going through in this process.

Me: oooohhhh! OK I see what you mean.
Its so true! Like my mom called yesterday & I was just telling her that I will go pt when we have a baby & she was just worried about our finances & wondering how we are going to get that much money together & I was like it will be fine. We ended that conversation & hung up.
and then she called back.
She goes, did you guys get like a lump sum of money from Jer's parents? I was like, what?? She was like did they give you a large amount of money? i was like nooooo?? why? and she just said this is so not like you, you are always worried about money & how it will all work out & you normally stress about this stuff....so I wondered if they gave you a bunch of money. I was like, no mom....this is just really HOW confindent about this I am. I KNOW with out a shadow of a doubt this story will work out. He answered my prayers. I asked him to align Jeremy & I's hearts on the baby thing...and he DID. He will finish what he started.
Its so amazing.
I am just in awe.
Like really really in awe.
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So God, to you be the Glory! All praise & honor & power go to you! You finish the work you started & we will be open & availbe to your leading! Amen.