Drew

You know how you know, you know, you KNOW you are supposed to be some where? That is how I feel in youth ministry. I know that I know that I know I am supposed to be serving in that ministry for this season. I am not sure how long I am going to be there, or what the next thing for me is. Perhaps it will always be serving with the youth, but I know I'm supposed to serve in there.
About 4 years ago I was serving in there to come alongside my friend Avery. I felt I was to give 110% to her. To pour fully into her and just focus on her. Just one girl, and I did. I met others along the way that I became close to as well, but Avery was the reason for getting me through those doors.
Life takes unexpected turns sometimes, and as I was sitting at Avery's funeral last year, the Lord very boldly told me to go back to the youth room & pour into those girls with that same grief that griped my heart. With the same urgency I felt when I sat there & didn't know the outcome of Avery's eternity. With the same passion for her little life that was so broken. I was to take that  weight, that urgency, that passion to the girls who were in the youth room now & bring them Made for More. Show them they are made for more than this world offers. They are made for more than the lies we believe about ourselves. They are made for more that what society tells us we are. We are made for more because HE made us for more.
So I went. I have been there for 8 months so far and I can honestly tell you I have never been so sure of something ever. The thing I'm sure of is he wants to use me. It has nothing to do with "me" either. There is nothing special about "me." The journey he has brought me on has shaped who I am, and I am who I am ONLY because of Christ in me. If "Janna" was to come offer herself, it would not be pretty. She is selfish, and temperamental, and negative in nature. That is what "I" have to offer.
So how do I know He wants to use me?
Yesterday I saw one of my girls Drew that I hadn't seen all summer. I met her the beginning of summer & she was sitting alone. I was drawn to her for some reason. There was just something about her......so I went up to talk to her. Come to find out, she just comes on her own to church. Her parents don't come, but she does. I am always SO impressed by that! When a young teen will come to church with no parental influence at all...that's just impressive to me!
Well that day we talked, and found out she didn't have a relationship with Christ & didn't really want one. I respected her honesty, and I got her number & she left. Little did I know it would be 2 months before I saw her again. I couldn't shake thinking about her. As the months passed I wondered if she would ever come back. Then! Yesterday she walked in the room and ONLY by the grace of God did I recognize her & even remember her NAME! that was HUGE, and again, only God.
So I hugged her and welcomed her back! I was so excited to see her, truly! We sat down, and as I chatted for a minute with her I felt there was something she wanted to talk about, but we had to stop talking as the service was starting. During the service the Holy Spirit said to me, "Do not let her leave before you talk to her. Do not let her leave." So I was like.....um ok!?
The service ended & she was about to get up to leave when, it was as if the Holy Spirit Himself started talking through Virginia, she said there were too many people in the atrium & asked if we would stay in the room until the big service let out so there wouldn't be this huge amount of kids surrounding the overflow area. Phew! Yes! thank you Lord for helping me keep her there!
So I asked her if we could talk for a minute. We did and long story short, I got to use my life example of surrendering my "right" to have children over to God, and once I did, He built our family the way He wanted to. Which was really cool because when you are going through heartbreak like that its hard to imagine God will use that later in life to help someone, but he always does, doesn't He? It was the surrender part that she needed to see, and from that point on she wanted to step into a relationship with him!!!
Oh man I can't tell you! ISN'T GOD SOOOO COOL!!! I mean honestly!! WOW wow WOW!!!! I am just blown away that in the past 3 months he is allowing me to get to be apart of His huge story! I am so excited to walk with these girls through this, and get to show them what true freedom in Christ looks like! Ahhh! I can't WAIT! Thank you thank you Lord, for letting me be apart of this! Only YOU draw hearts to you. (Romans 1:6).
So if you read this, and you know Jesus, please pray for my friends Tori & Drew. They need it right now! To HIM be the glory, always!!! xoxo