Slightly Humbled

Its so funny in my life...when things happen or don't happen I'm so quick to say but why? Lord, why? What can I do to see the answer I want to see? What can I do to change this situation? What can I do to make this person see my point of view :) etc etc. But you get my drift.
I read on twitter today from Andy Stanley, he said, "What if God doesn't owe us an explanation? What if he is....God?"
That just stopped me in my tracks. I question, I analyze, I wonder, I try to manufacture....and I never just stop & think about this statement. What if he doesn't owe me an explanation??? Which he DOESN'T, at all. I apparently feel like I'm entitled to one though. Which who am I to question the Creator of this Universe? I have a lot of guts to question Him.
Feeling sightly humbled this morning.

Thanks for your gentle yet powerful corrections Lord.
Love you. <3

Hard Converstations

I don't like having hard conversations. I don't like it even more when my friends or the people I love have to have them with someone. I want to defend, and stand in their way & ward off anyone who is trying to hurt them!
BACK UP! Janna is here & swinging! :)
BUT I love when God shows up & changes people from the inside out & you see Him get the glory!!
YAY! God! Kind of makes the hard conversations worth it....hmmm well...a little more bearable how about that! :)

Blonde again

Oh my.
What have I done.
hahah

For those of you who know me well, you know for the past year I've been trying to grow my hair out to my natural color. Which when I was young my hair was blonde, but as I got older, it just kept getting darker so I started to highlight it....well when I got pregnant with Ella, I decided it was a good time to go all natur-al! :)

I got my hair cut recently & that pretty much cut out all the blonde that I had remaining on the ends of my hair. So thats when I started getting comments about oh wow you dyed your hair brown. Wow you dyed your hair...nothing followed these comments either. haha cracks me up because you know when people don't follow those comments with anything, you know they aren't the biggest fan of the look. Which is fine, I wasn't either, I just wanted to see what my natural color would look like.

So I let it go that way for a month or so...and I just couldn't take it anymore. I would see pictures of me with my dark hair & look in the mirror & was like...eeek that just isn't me. Which is really odd because how can your natural color "not be you??" haha

So of course instead of going to the professionals to get me back to the color I think best suits me...I decide to save some money & have a friend do it.
How many at home dye mistakes do I have to have in order for it to sink in that, I can not do this at home & make it look right.
Well apparently my cheap self needed one more try.

disaster.
wow.
hahahah so I am frantically trying to get into a salon today or tomorrow to fix the mess that I made. But for now, I have my hair pulled as far back away from my face as possible, and so far no one has made one comment! that's a good sign! It might have helped that I wore a really big bulky necklace that is distracting people from looking at my face...but hey! Whatever works! :)

Still Transitioning

Wow...April & May are a blur...I know that there were a couple weeks that Jeremy was in Nepal, I know there was days spent at the pool, and I know that there were pictures taken of Ella...other than that...I can't believe its gone. We are moving into the 11th month of lil Miss Ella's life! I can't believe in a month & a 1/2 we'll be celebrating her 1st birthday! I remember this time last year, like it was yesterday...just waiting her arrival, wondering what she will will like, wondering if I'll be able to adjust to life with a baby. I must say it has been a bigger transition than I anticipated. I just didn't really understand all the emotions, feelings, the changes that take place during this transition. Before you have kids its like, I know I want that, I do! I do! but what you don't know is what comes with it....not bad stuff. I would never trade what I have now to go back to what I did have, but its just a transition.
I feel really sad I missed a huge service at Blue Ridge last night...and it was because we didn't have a sitter to be with Ella...which is totally fine, I enjoyed being home with her...but you don't think about little things like missing out on a 1st Wednesday service because a baby needs to get to bed. :)

I hope you don't think I'm complaining, because I so am not...its just a transition. one that I am embracing & getting used to. one that does have a lot of lonely times too, but one that, again, I wouldn't trade for anything.
Confused yet? hahah

So yeah, a word of encouragement for those who want a different stage of life than they currently have. Don't. Embrace the moments you are in, love the stage you are in, live every moment for the moment it is, because when it does change...you will look back & be like...wow...ok, new phase of life...here we go. (if that makes any sense).

Even in these transitions God has been so sweet to me, and walking me through it all...I feel sometimes like I'm walking with my hands out in front of me and I'm blind, and have no clue where I'm going or what I'm doing, but at the end of the day I can feel him holding my hand & leading me & that's all that matters.

So here is to another day of walking blindly & wondering if I'm the only one in the world that has felt like this with a baby...but I will keep talking & moving forward & just trust that I am doing the right thing.