1st Appointment

Today I get to go to my very first Doctors appointment with Leighanne. I'm so excited to hear baby Wilk's heart beat! (No we have not figured out a name) :(
When I went to my appointments with Ella that was the best, just hearing her heart beating so fast & knowing she is  growing & will be coming soon....its so exciting! I'm so excited to be there today with this baby too!
These past few days have been good, I got to spend some time with Leighanne on Thursday night. We had such good conversation & were able to talk about everything...fears she had, things she was feeling/dealing with, we got to talk about past stuff, and just everything in between. It was a really good time of getting to know each other. It was so good for my emotional state. :)

Adoption is a very different experience, you have the wide range of people and their opinions on it. For the most part we have had nothing but true support, with your occasional side comments that are just ridiculous & not thought through. Yesterday, though, was a day I caught a glimpse of the negativity from someone...not that they weren't supporting me & the choice we were making, but it was more of a "be ready for a lot of issues in this child because there are things that happen in the womb that are going to determine how she is as a person on the outside & with adoption there is the automatic feeling of rejection right from the start, so get ready for a long road of issues" kind of comment. Followed with "but so excited for you!!" hahaha I'm like uggghhh.......

So yeah....I guess thats where putting the tough skin on comes in...I am not so naive to think that this is going to be smooth sailing. I am not so naive to realize that generational sin is real, I am not so naive to think that there are things that are really going to have to be worked through, or emotional issues that come with this process. But I do know that my God is bigger than any of that. The whole reason behind why we chose to adopt our 2nd is because, there is a world of hurting dying children who just need a chance. A chance at a good life, a chance to succeed, a chance to be in an environment that promotes health, a chance to love & be loved, and a chance to walk hand in hand with the creator of the universe while delighting in obedience toward him. That is why we chose to adopt. For the first time last Thursday I was filled with fear for baby Wilk at the idea  of what awaits her, if she doesn't come home with us......I just feared for her. I've never felt that before, then my heart ached, I just want to give a life a chance. So yeah....comments, opinions and all, I am in this. My heart is loving this baby so much, and just the thought of her coming home & being a part of our lives makes my heart pound with joy.

So for today, another chance and opportunity to be with Leighanne, to love her, to experience this with her, to hearing my baby's heart beat for the first time, to loving this baby; I will follow you Lord. Lead on.