More differences

Well things are going well...everyone is still all for the plan, and everything is progressing. We got to spend some time with Leighanne yesterday. As always, its very fun to be with her & talk with her.
As I walk through this process though, and as I get to know Leighanne more, I am seeing very stark contrasts in adoption & pregnancy. Clearly we all know they are different situations, but the one thing I didn't expect or was naive to was, the pain. The pain I see in Leighanne. I wasn't expecting that...I guess because I didn't "know" that side of this process yet.
When you're on my side the things you feel are fears, anxiety, and then super elation & excitement set in....but there never is really pain. There "could" if the outcome is not in our favor, but that wouldn't come until later. Right now, though, as I sat with her, hearing her, listening, empathizing...I hear a deep pain. Not a pain that waivers on her decision, just a pain of loss. In that moment it was so hard for me to be excited about this new life, when my friend, the birth mother of my child is hurting so deeply. It made me really sad for her. You never feel that in pregnancy. Yes you "could" if you lost the baby, but you know what I mean? Its not a "normal" part of the pregnancy process. With adoption it is....someone is always going to feel & experience pain. Whatever the outcome. :( That makes me sad. I don't want her to hurt. I know she will & has to, don't get me wrong. I know this is just part of it, and will always be apart of adoption in some fashion. I just wasn't expecting to hurt with her I suppose. We are in a unique experience with Leighanne. We both truly think the world of her, she is great, she has such an open warm personality. She talks to strangers & makes them feel like she is their friend....the more & more we are with her, the more & more fond of her we become. So its an odd place to be on this side of things...watching your friend hurt, when you know that you will be the one who gets to celebrate?

Kind of sobering.
She has been having contractions too....doctor is giving her two to three more weeks & she said she expects a baby will be here. *enter freak out* There it is again the free-fall feeling. Ugh. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm so so so excited. I can't wait to see my daughter. I can't wait to put a "big sister" shirt on Ella. I can't wait to see Jeremy love & care for THREE girls. My heart is full.
There is just a stark reality that my friend is going to be in deep deep hurt as we celebrate & that hurts me for her. Phew....I think I might be too old for this. :) Hahah just kidding. I know God is two steps in front of us leading & guiding...and that is all I'm sure of right now.