As I sit here comfortably on my couch, sipping my coffee, and watching the Olympics I decided to check my email. Here is what I read:

Dear Jeremy and Janna, 
One of our senior leaders has been abducted by a terrorist group, and they are demanding a very high ransom for his release. On July 23, at 7 p.m., a group of five armed terrorists kidnapped Pastor PG from our Bible school campus in the Karbi Anglong district of Assam, India. They have taken him away to their forest hideout, and we are unaware of his location. This group is threatening to kill Pastor PG unless we give them a large sum of money.

There was more to the email, but as Jeremy & I stopped to pray for him, I just got an overwhelming feeling. He is a real person. This is not just a "story." Some where in India this is happening to one of our laborers for Christ. Ugh and it hit me, I was broken for him. Please join us & pray for him. We don't know what the Lord has in store for him. A fate like Stephen, or a different outcome, but all I know is that he needs prayer. Also please pray for the men that captured him that they would somehow come to know Christ through this.
 Will you join me in praying?

39 Weeks!!

Well yesterday we had a check up and all is well! They put Leighanne on the fetal monitor just to make sure she is doing well & just that she is still healthy. This is what that looks like:

I must add, its kind of nice being on this side of things this time, getting to see all the gadgets they used & stuff. The list on the left is Alivia's heartbeat & the one on the right is measuring Leighannes contractions. As you can see she is not too active. :)
The doctor, who I'm pretty sure just graduated from college wanted to check her dilation again just to be sure, since we are so close to her due date. So he checks her...and side note...she has been checked two other times & both Dr.s have said she is 1cm & 60-80% effaced.....so much to our surprise this Dr. said she was yes 1cm....but he was 100% sure she was only 10% effaced. UGH what??? You should have seen poor leighannes face, she almost bust into tears! Poor thing. So he walked out & I just had to reassure her, that he probably made a mistake & that we've had two Dr.s say she was at least 60% so we need another opinion. Next thing we know (good move on kid Dr's part) he brought in his supervisor, who will be one of the Dr's to deliver leighanne & she did another check. After her check she said that she is 50% effaced & 2 ALMOST 3cm!!! YAY!!!! Progress!!! So that helped the mood lift a little! Poor Leighanne is done, and ready to meet this baby! Aren't we all though!? ;)
So all that to say things are going well & progressing!! If she doesn't go into labor then we will schedule an induction date, which will be August 5th!! So the time is coming near, no longer will be the days of pictures like this:

I can't tell you how much I rejoice to the Lord for my sweet gifts. I can NOT wait till my dream of a family of four is complete! Oh the Lord is so good & gracious to me. I so don't deserve it at all, I kick & scream & cry & fuss, but still he chooses to be sweet. <3 So filled with gratitude.

Not Mine

So...as we are on week 38 of waiting on baby Liv to arrive, I have noticed something happening. My grip. It keeps getting tighter & tighter. I keep trying to close it on this situation & hold it as tight as I can...a false sense of control. Yesterday a comment (again) was made. It was pretty thoughtless & just flat out embarrassing & awkward for me. I don't do awkward. It makes me want to run & hide. But I faced it & it was dealt with...still doesn't mean it didn't sting a little. It did & I still cringe when I think of it...but something came out of it.

Sometimes I really just don't think I can do this adoption thing. Its hard. Its so stressful. I don't do stress. I like easy laid back life....and then God reminded me....He brought up the story of Ella. How I didn't plan her, he GAVE her to me. And he reminded me just like he started that good work in her, He ALSO started this good work in Alivia & will finish it. It is not mine to grab onto. Its not mine to hold tightly to. They are not "MINE." They are His & he has entrusted them to me. This was a lesson I learned two years ago, and as my grip was almost turning bright red from grasping so hard...He gently reminded me again, "She is not yours Janna. She is mine & I'm allowing you to raise her." Ugh. Broken. Got it loud & clear Lord, and my fingers were pried open.

This is not my situation to carry. He has this...he is walking and leading me...I need to be faithful to follow. Its so hard to follow sometimes, but in his grace...he gives us 2nd changes...all the time. Lord forgive me for grabbing this situation. I can NOT manufacture a Divine outcome & that's what I asked for. Lead on. <3

Still waiting....

So, its July 19th.....and we still have no sign of Miss Alivia coming.
Her original due date wasn't until Aug. 3rd, but as the pregnancy kept progressing they moved it to July 26th....so she is "expected" some time between July 26th & Aug. 3rd....so we are still around 38-39 weeks....we just thought for sure she would go into labor by now.
I guess she will come when she is ready & it will be the Lords perfect timing....I'm just trying to wait well. Which I am not very good at that, so this is good practice for me. :) :)

We do go see the doctor on Friday, so that will be exciting!!!
Hope everyone is doing well!

Ella turns two!

Well today my not so baby girl turns two!

So excited to celebrate her! Birthdays are so much fun to me, not mine though. I just LOVE celebrating other people's birthdays! I know they feel so special on their day, so I try to make a really big deal out of it! I love doing it, the joy on their face is priceless!
So normally I would have put a party together for Ella but due to the uncertainty of Alivia's arrival I didn't want to have to plan something, buy everything for it, food etc all to have it have to be canceled. But leave it to my Momma to come through! She sent a box of MANY presents for Ella, a Dora birthday banner, and Dora party favors! I love that she celebrates birthdays like I do….I have no clue where I got this love of birthdays. ;)
Since I had decided to not even decorate or anything, we were just going to have dinner, and then open her gifts tonight…as I kept getting closer to the date, I was like I can’t NOT celebrate her birthday!!! So Monday night I start making her a cake! Which I did not plan to do, but I just couldn’t go without making her one! Last night I finished it up & then decided to pull out the decorations my Mom had sent & decorated! Here is a picture of her Dora cake:

I put the banner up & the party favors out, and displayed the gifts under it! It was really fun.
I got a call from Jeremy saying, I should have recorded her reaction when she came down this morning. Apparently when she saw the banner & the presents she started jumping up & down & saying OOOOOOO!!!!!! Hahah I’m so glad I decided to do that! I love that I have the chance to make my little girl get excited on her special day! Bummed I missed the moment, but knowing that it was special to her, makes it ok.

Not sure if you picked up on the date, but today is July 11th. 7/11. I did not know this until Ella was born, but every year on July 11th, 7.11 gives away FREE 7.11oz Slurpee's to celebrate their birthday! So last year I decided I wanted to start the tradition of getting Slurpee's for Ella on her birthday every year! Last year it was really fun! I knew I was going to have to make dinner when I got home from work and there just wasn’t going to be time for me to run her to 7.11 for her Slurpee, so I asked Jeremy if he would take her this morning. He said he would, and he took some pictures:

Man, she looks like a little lady. I just love her so much & am SO honored that I GET to be her Mom! So so grateful!!!

Happy Birthday my sweet Ella Jaydan! You bring SO much joy to SO MANY people! My prayer for you is that you would delight in obedience, and that you would fall so in love with our Savior it would be such a joy to obey Him. Your Dad (and many others) love you SO much and are SO proud to have walked these last two years with you! xoxo

Routines

Routines are good. I like my routine. Even when that routine means waking up at 4:30a.m., it's my routine & it works for me. I was so happy to welcome my routine back this morning. If for only a couple more weeks. Then it hit me like it has so many times through this process....I'm going to have two kids. Two. If I'm being completely honest, which is what a blog is for right? Not having to look anyone in the eye & admit things....things like, I'm completely scared out of my mind. I'm scared to have my routine tossed up in the air, shaken all around, then have to figure it all out again. Phew. Breathe. Don't hear me wrong....I DO want this. I'm just scared today. I read this this morning on someones post: "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." -Earl Wilson Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Besides the fact that all of you who read this, now know! ;)

Made it to 37!

37 weeks that is! Yay! I was praying a lot that she would just make it to "full term" which is 37weeks....that happened last Thursday! Yay! Things have been a little nutty since the Dereocho that we had here. Let me back up, last Friday a wild storm ripped through our area leaving millions without power, us included. Then the next day, Saturday, we got a call from Leighanne that she finally did want to take our friends offer of a free place to stay & move here, so Saturday afternoon with no power Leighanne packed up her car & moved to Lynchburg. This probably would not have been a big deal had the power been on, but since it wasn't we didn't feel right sending her to a house without power. So she stayed with us. Never in our wildest dreams did we picture ourselves here, living with the birth mother of our child. The freaky thing is, it doesn't feel awkward. It should, please don't miss that, but we made it work. Ella absolutely loves her too! I was glad to see the power come back on, on Tuesday night though. While it could have been a much worse awkward situation, I was still thankful for separate living quarters. So she is here, living in her apartment, and we are waiting on Alivia's arrival. Still do not question Leighanne, she has not wavered once in her choice once it was made....so here we are, waiting & ready to meet our daughter. I go through waves of fear, but all in all God has His peace resting on me & I'm thankful. This next week (Wednesday) we celebrate Ella's 2nd birthday...wouldn't that be true God fashion if two years to the date we welcome our 2nd baby. A dream of mine come true. Amazing. &lt;3